Red Winter
by wisdomblackorchid2.0
Summary: After the Snap, the Avengers managed to move on but they find themselves going on a unexpected mission - to rescue Romanoff. Bucky Barnes tagged along but he's anxious at how his little reunion with red head would play out. (Romanogers/ BuckyNat)
1. Chapter 1 - Fury's Little Reunion

Maria Hill stands with her arms crossed near the glass windows. She is in the common living area of the Facility where most of Tony's parties were held. But unlike those times, the bar area is now dry and empty. Having alcohol at arm's reach is the last thing she wants for her recruits and trainees.

She peers outside the huge glass windows and watches as an SUV pulls up and Clint and Wanda step both disappear as they walk through the front door. Maria Hill smiles for a second and takes it back. Nobody sees her smile.

She turns around as the elevator door opens and out come Steve, Sam and Bucky. She sure is happy to see Steve and Sam but if she is being honest with herself, she's still a little apprehensive about Bucky. _I just need time to know him better, that's all. _Maria tells herself.

They greet each other with hugs and handshakes and the elevator door opens again. Clint and Wanda walk out. Wanda runs and gives Steve and Sam a hug and a courteous smile to Bucky. But Clint being the overall nice guy that he is gives all of them a hug. After several minutes, pleasantries and catch up talk are cut off by a familiar voice.

"Good, you're all here. Now we can begin."

They all turn and see Nick Fury from across the room. Smile drops off Steve's face.

He turns to Maria, "You didn't say anything about a mission when you called."

"Would you have come if I did?" Maria replies. Steve doesn't respond.

"Sorry, Cap. I wouldn't drag all of you here if it wasn't important," Fury says.

"It's okay. I was just disappointed that after everything, I thought we no longer have to lie to one another," Steve says with slight sarcasm but genuine disappointment.

It's not that he's not pleased to see Fury alive and well after coming back, but his history with the super spy has always been shaky. Sure, he can trust that Fury would always have their backs but his habit of keeping his motivations from them is a huge turn off. Like this one. He is so naive to think that Maria's surprise call was truly about a cute reunion. Apparently not.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Bucky asks.

Everyone turns their heads at him, surprised at his question at first but slowly understanding where he's coming from. After coming back from the snap, Bucky pretty much had no choice but to stay in Wakanda while Steve and the others sort things out with the Accords. But even when that was settled, he still couldn't step foot in the Facility because Tony didn't want him anywhere near him.

"Yes. Stark doesn't know you're here," Fury assures him.

"And if he finds out?" Wanda asks.

"I'll deal with it," Fury replies. Everyone is silent for a moment, no idea where to go from there.

"What's this about, Boss?" Clint finally butts in to diffuse the tension.

He's technically not his boss anymore, but Clint's training is still there, including the respect for his former superior. Fury nods and brings out his tablet, taps a few buttons and the TV monitor on the wall comes to life. They all watch as Fury lines up faces of almost a dozen men on the screen, composed of either old mug shots or surveillance photos.

"It's going to be a bit of a preamble but bear with me," Fury warns them. "Meet the Big Boss Company. During the Decimation, a lot of prominent mafia bosses disappeared, leaving their organizations, well, chaotically headless. Smaller, but ambitious Scarface wannabes took advantage of the situation and snatched these vacant top positions in their respective towns, states, and countries. For some sick twist of fate, these new bosses crossed paths and formed a worldwide mafia conglomerate, operating in five countries."

"Doing what?" Sam asks.

"The usual - gun running, drug trade, several legitimate enterprises to front their illegal ones," Fury replies. "When the former bosses re-appeared, the Big Boss Company is already too strong so needless to say, they all disappeared. Again."

"So you want us to track this Company down?" Clint asks.

"No. Not really. We're already doing that. Last year, I sent an agent to gather intel on these guys and in six months we've taken down their bases in three countries - US, Brazil and Iceland," Fury says with pride. "Six months ago, we received a new intel from our agent that new persons of interest connected to the Company surfaced."

Everyone turns to the screen and sees a photo of a man, in his 50s, with glasses and graying hair flash on the screen.

"Dr. Michael Stahl, German surgeon, reported missing by his family. And her -, " Fury says. A woman in late-20s with brown hair, hazel eyes, sharp nose and cheekbones appears beside the doctor's photo. "Our agent was hoping we can dig up any info on her but we came up empty. Until now we don't know who she is," Fury says with frustration.

"The last report we got from our field agent was this woman seems to be heading a specific operation for the Company that we don't know yet. Even the doctor, we ran a check on him, he's clean so far. So this is what our agent was intent on finding out. Our last contact with our agent was four months ago."

"He's dead?" Steve asks.

"I hope not, Cap... I sure hope not," Fury replies with an unmistakable sadness in his voice.

"It's Romanoff," Maria reveals, swallowing her own emotions.

"What?!" Clint stands up, eyes fuming with anger.

Wanda's jaw drops in disbelief and then buries her face in her hands trying hard not to cry. Sam takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and shakes his head. Steve, who's already standing, eyes Fury before walking across the room where he stands on his own, arms crossed, head down.

Bucky watches as everyone blatantly expressed their personal reactions - Clint's obviously surprised and angry, Wanda's scared, Sam's worried. He looks at Steve and sees all of those emotions in him and more. All those years Bucky has known Steve and from all the memories he gained back, he doesn't seem to remember seeing Steve infuriated like this before. Steve's been mad, yes, but Bucky never remembers Steve taking it too personal like this.

"You sent her back out there to do your dirty work for you?! After everything that has happened you let her back out there on her own!" Clint shouts accusingly at Fury.

"Wait, you didn't know?" Sam asks Clint, genuinely surprised that he doesn't know. Clint sighs, shaking his head, his anger now redirected to himself.

"But she texted you back, right? When you greeted her last Christmas!" Wanda said with hope in her voice.

"Wanda,"Clint says softly. "That was four months ago."

"Oh," Wanda says and she goes back trying to hold back her tears .

"Why did you let her, Nick?" Clint continues but this time he's not angry anymore. "Why didn't you call me?"

"She didn't want me to," Fury replies. He looks defeated too, shoulder slumped and sighing heavily before sitting himself down.

"She insisted she doesn't want to bother any of you. I said to bring you along, you might be getting too bored being retired, she didn't say no but eyed me like she was already killing me in her head so, I said, take Wanda, she sure could use some practice. She said if she can avoid dragging Wanda into the dark corners of this world, of her life, she would."

Wanda smiles, thinking of Nat who wholeheartedly took up the responsibility of being her big sister.

"Then I suggested you. You'd make a great wing-man in every sense of the word," Fury said and pointed at Sam. "She said those vets need you more than she does. And then I said bring Rogers and make him shake off those dust from his shield. You know what she said? You know what she said, Cap?"

Steve doesn't turn. He keeps looking outside the glass window.

Fury continues, "She said, she doesn't want you fighting anymore... says you've been fighting all your life and you're supposed to be done with it. Especially now that you have Barnes back, she wanted you two to have a chance at a life without fighting."

Every word from Fury slices through Bucky's heart. He barely spent any time with Natasha after coming back from the snap but realizes with sadness that's she's right. He's done nothing but fight. Even his first encounter with the redhead was a fight.

_Was that really our first encounter? _Bucky often wonders whenever his mind would drift off to her. He got his memories back, thanks to Shuri, but he still feels like there still one piece of the puzzle missing for him to be complete and for some reason, instinct maybe, he feels like Romanoff can provide that last piece. He would always seems giddy and excited at the same time whenever Natasha's name is mentioned. Like now, but with an added touch of worry too.

Bucky's thought is cut off by the sound of glass shattering. They all turn around to see a panel of the glass windows broken and Steve's right fist clenched in a ball, bleeding.

Sam runs to Steve to check up on his wound which isn't too deep. No one speaks for a while. They all share the same loss and guilt. Especially Clint who didn't see it coming.

After a few moments, Wanda speaks softly. "What about Nat? Doesn't she want a life without fighting?"

Clint, who is now more worried than angry replies, "Natasha grew up with demons, brought up by demons, and she's convinced she became one herself for a time. She's drenched in neck-deep blood from all the things she's done that she believes not even her death would be enough to pay the price. She said dying is easy. So she went on the hard route of living, hunting down and fighting as many demons as she can. And she has already accepted it."

"Accepted what?" Wanda asks.

Clint looks at her, about to cry and says, "That she's going to die out there, fighting." And tears finally escapes his eyes and starts to sob silently. Wanda goes over to his side and lays a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Steve can feel the tension in his jaw, he has been clenching it since he saw Fury. But now, it seems like every muscle in his body is locked in anger - at Fury, a little at Clint, but most importantly at himself. He knows Natasha is more than capable of taking care of herself but the thought of her captured, tortured or worse, dead, scared him. She has become one of the most special persons in his life ever since he came out of the ice and he's angry at himself because it seems that he has forgotten her, abandoned even, just because he was so focused on having Bucky back. He's now realizing that he barely talked to her these past months. He was so keen on his own life that he didn't bother checking up on her.

Steve finally walks back to them. After eyeing Fury one last time time, Steve says, "Gear up."

Sam and Bucky nod in agreement. Wanda smiles widely. Clint wipes his face, composed himself, nods at Steve and says, "Let's get our girl back."


	2. Chapter 2 - Caught in the Web of Past

**Iceland - Six months ago**

Natasha has been on her own these past months and she doesn't mind especially seeing the progress they're having with their operation. The Black Widow used to work alone, anyway. _Used to. _The words echo in her head with a flash of Clint, Maria, and Steve's faces. It distracts her for a second that she is startled by a harmless leaf falling a few inches from her face. She leans back a little too much that she ends up falling on her back. Layers of fallen and old leaves crunch underneath her. Natasha scrambles back up and quickly hides behind a tree, rolling her eyes at her own clumsiness.

_It's autumn, idiot. Leaves can't help but fall, _Natasha scolds herself silently.

She stands still for a few more seconds before she's convinced that no one heard her. She slowly squats down, still behind the tree and focuses back her attention to the scene a little more than 600 yards in front of her.The Big Boss Company base in Iceland is strategically situated in a clearing deep in the forest where no one can bother them and they won't bother anyone. The base is a three-storey mansion the Company legally bought from a rich family. But it now stands hollow after Fury sent an infantry of agents a week ago.

Natasha remembers when she watched from a distance as the agents stormed inside, fired several rounds, and triumphantly captured several members of the Company. _Hill's trainees are about to get some serious interrogation exercises, _Natasha thought and smirked for a second. After combing the mansion for additional intel, they left as swiftly as they came. Mission accomplished.

Natasha surveys the mansion and counts six armed men, standing guard around the perimeter. _What are they doing coming back here? _Natasha asks silently. _Also, what AM I doing back here? _Fury confirmed to her that the scene was scrubbed clear of intel but since yesterday she couldn't shake off a weird knot in her stomach and this morning all she could hear in her head was '_go back'. _So, despite a few risks, she hopped on her bike and sped back not sure what to expect.

"What are you up to now?" Natasha whispers to herself as she surveys the armed men through her binoculars. "Are you waiting for something?"

As if to answer her question, Natasha hears chopper blades from the distance that grow louder by the second. The chopper lands to her right, near the treeline where she's hiding. She directs her binoculars at the chopper and sees three more armed men step out followed by a woman. The woman has long brown hair, sharp nose and cheekbones. Natasha pegs her to be in her late 20s, wearing a long red coat, black tight pants underneath it, capped by black wedge heels at her feet. Still with the binoculars, Natasha follows as the woman walks towards the mansion and disappears inside followed by her posse.

Natasha knows she cannot engage but she can't just do nothing either especially now that there seems to be a new face in the Company that they're just learning of right now. Natasha quickly makes her way to the chopper, using the trees as her cover. She reaches the tail end of the chopper from the side that's hidden from the mansion and in less than 10 seconds manages to attach a tracking device on the underside of the its tail boom. Natasha smiles satisfactorily as the nano-technology in the device camouflage itself as just another rivet and the signal goes live on her phone screen. Then she disappears back behind the treeline just in time as the woman and her guards exit the mansion. Natasha watches as the woman continues walking back to the chopper but confusion spreads across her face as she notices the guards hastily abandon their posts, jump into their SUVs parked nearby and speed away.

_That's not a good sign,_ Natasha tells herself. But she holds her ground and watches as the chopper finally takes off and then - BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Natasha falls on her knees as the ground shakes and flames, smoke and dust engulf the mansion. It takes her a few seconds before she manages to get back on her feet and run to her bike.

_Who was she?_ Natasha asks herself as she speeds off the highway. From her side mirror, she can still see smoke billowing above the trees. Natasha needs to send the photos to Fury asap not just for the sake of their operation but for her curiosity's as well. _I think I know her._

**Austria - Five Months Ago**

It's been three weeks now, three weeks since she rented her room on the 5th floor of an old apartment building. It may be old and small but it perfectly overlooks her target's nest just one block away.

Her chase for the Woman, as she calls her since Fury can't seem to dig anything about her, has led her from Iceland to Greenland and finally, in Austria. Natasha long gave up and admitted that the Woman is good, as good as her in scrubbing her existence from the world. She surmised that the beautiful three-storey stately mansion she's been looking at for the past weeks is the Woman's base of operations, whatever it is that she does for the Company. The baroque-inspired structure is enclosed by an 8-feet solid brick fence, making it impossible to see inside its gates from street level. So Natasha took up high ground in this apartment building.

The mansion's gate is solid iron which leads into a nice courtyard then to the main front door which is painted with a dark shade of red. _What's up with this woman and mansions?_ Natasha wondered at first and just settled on the idea that the Woman might have some mansion fetish. Behind the mansion is a river.

For the past three weeks she has sent three reports to Fury, detailing the security and activities that she has observed from her stakeout house. The Woman has never left the premises and the only sightings Natasha had of her were the occasions when she greeted her guests by the red front door, always in elegant coats and heels. Her guests, come around two to three times a week, with no definite day, but always in luxurious and most definitely bullet-proof limousines surrounded by at least three SUVs carrying their guards.

_Guests profile? _Fury asked her during one of their chats, when Natasha finally managed to establish a secure connection. In return, Natasha sent him photos of men in suits and scarfs and cigars hanging off their lips coming out of the limousine or greeting the Woman by the door. Fury confirmed that all of them are members of the Big Boss Company. Fury told her to stay put and find out more but to never make contact. Natasha agreed.

Another week has passed and Natasha couldn't help but be bored especially that the Woman seems to keep a very rigid routine. Nothing new for the past days. She watched from her window as Fury tried to infiltrate the premises through legitimate channels - sending building inspectors from the city engineer's office to check the mansion's structural integrity, then another team from the Sanitation department to ensure that they're not dumping waste in the river at the back. Natasha can only shake her head and laugh as Fury's attempts fail one by one.

The day after the Sanitation inspection ruse failed, Natasha takes her usual seat by the window again overlooking the mansion and sighs at the prospect of wasting another day of _'observing'_. With a warm cup of coffee and comfortable gray hoodie jacket that's way too big for her, she settles down. And then -

"Oh, this is new," Natasha says softly. She looks up at the sky as the first snow of winter falls and fills her view of the town with speckles of white. Natasha smiles. She pulls up the hood of her jacket and takes a sip of her coffee, convincing herself that those are enough to warm her cold and empty heart. Her phone buzzes and finds a message from Laura. She opens it and sees a picture of a wrapped Christmas gift with a caption,_ Come home and open it. Before Pietro does._ Natasha smiles again but this time tears well up in her eyes.

When Natasha wakes up the next morning, gray skies greeted her. Mustering all her strength, she climbs out of bed and grabs her phone. It's 8am. Natasha sighs. Another long day of nothing. Still wearing her big hoodie jacket, she slips on her gloves, bonnet and boots and goes out to buy her stash of groceries good for another week. She has to be fast. She can't be away for more than 20 minutes or else she might miss something at the mansion. Fifteen minutes later, she exits the store with two bags full of groceries and is about to turn the corner leading to her apartment when an idea hit her - she'd make a perimeter walk of the mansion.

_No, Romanoff. Like I said, do not make contact._ Natasha hears Fury's voice in her head. But she's getting frustrated, bored and after Laura's message yesterday, a little homesick. It seems like her patience suddenly ran its course and now she just want this over and done with. So she shrugs off Fury's order and proceeds with her plan.

_Besides, I look like an ordinary woman, with not enough warm clothes, with her groceries just passing by to get home, _Natasha convinces herself.So with her gray hood on covering her face, and bags of yogurt, bread, and canned peaches on both arms, she goes on her little detour. Just like she expected, it is impossible to see the inside because of the high brick wall. She continues walking and turns the corner that leads to the side of the wall with the gate. Natasha stops for a moment as two SUVs approach the mansion and stop by the gate, waiting for it to open. Natasha resumes walking, taking comfort in the thought that her hoodie can obscure her face a little in case any hidden security cameras catch her.

Then she breaks into a small jog as the two SUVs finally disappear inside the gate. Natasha can't help but smile with her little victory. She reaches the gate just as it is about to close and there catches a glimpse of a man disembarking from the SUV. Another new face. Old bespectacled man with graying hair on his temples. _I think I know him too, _Natasha realizes. But unlike the Woman, the man looks tense, shoulders slumped and eyes fixed on his feet. _He's scared._

Natasha rushes back to her room, clumsily sets down her groceries and grabs her laptop. She opens multiple Missing Persons databases, enters some keywords and rummages through them until she finds what she's looking for.

"Doctor Michael Stahl, Germany, Surgeon, missing presumed dead for 4 months," Natasha reads out loud. She immediately sends the doctor's profile to Fury and two minutes later, Fury contacts her on their secure chatroom.

_ Involvement? _Fury asks.

_ Don't know. YET. _Natasha replies. _Permission to change status from recon to infiltration._

_ DENIED. STAY PUT ROMANOFF. _Fury writes back. Natasha pouts and furrows her brows in frustration and just stares at her blinking cursor.

_ DO YOU COPY?_ Fury writes again.

_ Copy._ Natasha replies and slams her laptop close.

Natasha tries spending the whole day by the window as if she's okay. She normally has no problem following Fury's orders but right now it's a different story. She tries calming herself down with her breathing exercises but fails. She looks over the sink and surprises herself that she's been stress eating all day, eating almost half-way through her groceries. She slumps back down on the window and looks over the mansion. Nothing. Guards, roaming, changing shifts, people who she established to be utility men going in and out of the mansion.

Then her phone buzzes - a message from Clint. _Merry Christmas! _Natasha smiles but doesn't text back. She puts down her phone and watch the snow continue to fall. She pulls her hoodie jacket closer to her body and sighs.

"I can't believe it's Christmas already," Natasha says and memory of the last Christmas they were all together swarmed into her mind. She knows it was her decision to distance herself from them but as the season goes deep into winter, she couldn't help but miss them more.

The Black Widow started her career doing missions on her own but when she joined SHIELD she had to learn working with a partner. She didn't find it hard, it's just like learning ballet with a partner and she's grateful to have had good dancing partners. Shaky at first, especially with Rogers who was uncomfortable with her methods. But after a few months, they seem to have found a middle ground . Natasha admits, that surprised her a lot, the Black Widow compromising her methods to accommodate the Captain's moral codes. She smiles.

It is already dark, around 8pm when she sees the Woman emerge from the mansion's front door. Excited that a development in their case is at hand, she grabs her binoculars, puts it on night-vision mode and watches the Woman simply gives the utility men a few instructions before going back inside. Natasha throws her binoculars across the room in frustration. She starts to breathe faster and heavier than normal. Everything is getting on her nerves already.

_Almost one month and still nothing. I want to go home! _Natasha screams silently.

"Screw it!" Natasha says as she storms away from the window to check her notes. For the past three weeks, the last light usually goes off at eleven PM. "Good. Plenty of time to prepare," Natasha says.

For the next several hours, Natasha preoccupies herself by preparing. She studies and memorizes the mansion's blueprint she hacked from the city engineer's database weeks ago. Then she takes out her weapons for inventory and makes a last-minute clean. She also still manages to grab a late dinner, despite the fact that she's seems to be eating the whole day already.

By ten forty-five she's back sitting by the window already in her black catsuit, waiting for the last light to go out. She brings out her phone and replies to Clint's early message. _Merry Christmas!_

At exactly eleven, the light at the center window on the 2nd floor finally flickers off. But Natasha still doesn't make a move. _Let them get cozy and deep in sleep for a while_. She reminds herself.

By twelve AM, Natasha's already out of the apartment, standing on the street across the mansion, hiding in the shadows. Two armed guards stand in front of the gate. Taking them out would make a noise, so she decides to employ the use of shadows around the perimeter until she reaches a dark part of the wall. She decides to leave no trail of bodies so she can easily justify to Fury that it's just a deep recon mission. She came in and out and no one's the wiser.

She easily climbs the wall and lands gracefully on the other side. She doesn't wait a second and immediately hides among the shadows again. Instead of using the front door, Natasha goes to the side of the building and uses a small utility access door to enter. She finds herself in a secondary kitchen. It's quiet, dark and cold. Figuratively and literally. From the kitchen, she successfully slips into dining hall and all the way to the foyer. She sees the big red front door. She runs her hands on its surface and discovers three iron-wrought bolts at the top, middle and bottom. _No escaping this life,_ Natasha realizes.

She backs away from the door and walks on. She just had to duck out of sight from two to three guards roaming the floor. In the room adjacent to the foyer she finds a grand staircase. She knows it's grand because it's silhouette looks big and wide and by the uneven feel of the wooden handrail she knows it's sculptured with intricate designs. She can't make out the interior design of the rest of the mansion because of the dark but the faint light the moon casts inside tells her that it's probably beautiful, with high ceilings, archways and columns with intricate sculptures at the top.

_Just like home, when she was little, _Natasha suddenly remembers but immediately shakes it off. _That wasn't home. That was hell._

Natasha concentrates at the task at hand and starts to ascend the stairs. Its carpet helped muffle whatever sound is left of Natasha's footsteps. _It's probably red. Like the door._ Natasha guesses.

She reached the 2nd floor and finds two long hallways, one to her right and one to her left. She follows her guts and turns to walk to the right hallway. It's dark except for the gloomy yellowish light emanating from the old, dusty chandelier. Even from her position, Natasha can tell that there are seven doors in this hallway.

She reaches the first door, quietly turns the knob and surprised to find it unlocked. She slowly pushes it open and lets out a sigh of relief when it didn't squeak. No light is on inside the room but the moonlight coming from the single window helps Natasha make out two beds across from where she's standing. Each bed has its own side table and small dresser. Natasha strains her eyes and realizes that the beds are occupied. She decides not to probe the room any further so as not to wake anyone up.

_It's still a recon mission,_ Natasha reminds herself.

She's about to close the door when the figure on one of the beds stir. Natasha hesitates for a moment. _Hesitate and you die,_ Natasha remembers her instructor telling her when she pulled the trigger one second late. Natasha shrugs off the memory and watches as the figure finally sits up on the bed. Natasha gasps as she locks eyes with a human being, a girl to be exact. She has black curly hair.

_This feels so familiar, _Natasha realizes with fear._ It's too familiar. Why?_

Her cover's blown, the girl has seen her but Natasha's confused because the girl hasn't budge yet, nor make a sound or try to alarm anyone of her intrusion. Instead, the girl too locks her eyes on Natasha that sends shivers down her spine. Then the girl quietly gets out of the sheets and stands by her bed. Natasha gestures her to be silent using her finger and lips and the girl mimics her. Natasha then gestures her to come to her but the girl shakes her head slowly. Natasha tries again and still gets the same response. The girl must have read the confusion in Natasha's face so she lifts her left hand and says out loud, "I can't."

Natasha's eyes widen in horror and a short scream leaves her as the girl reveals her left hand handcuffed to the bed. The girl starts to shake her hand, causing the metal handcuff to rattle. The other figure on the other bed starts to stir too but Natasha can't seem to bring herself to move. She's lost command of her body as every fiber of her being simply stands there, frozen in terror, in fear. She suddenly forgets how to breath and becomes paralyzed with confusion that she fails to notice that a man is now standing behind her who immediately stabs her with a syringe at the shoulder. Natasha tries to flee but after two seconds her knees betray her and she falls on the hard wood floor with the girl's face the last thing she sees before everything goes black.

_She has blue eyes. Like him._ Natasha remembers and then nothing.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Rescue

The door of Natasha's apartment room slowly opens and Steve quietly walks in followed by Clint, Wanda, Sam and Bucky at the rear. The landlord said he didn't realize Natasha hasn't been in her unit for months. She rarely goes out, except for groceries. She's quiet and never bothered anyone and since she's paid for 6 months, there was no other reason for him to knock on her door. Sometimes he would actually forget that she's renting there. He adds that his encounter with her is like a seeing a ghost, it startles him for a second or two and by the time he's composed himself to approach her, she's gone, disappeared back into her room.

"Not a ghost, a spy. And god damn good one," Clint whispers to himself. Bucky hears his remark and couldn't help but smile in agreement.

Now that they're inside Natasha's room, they realize she almost did live like a ghost in there. Aside from the bed, side table, lamp, dresser, table, two chairs and a few appliances like stove, microwave, a small fridge and kettle there's almost nothing there. The only things that belong to Natasha were two black bags by the bed, a laptop and notebooks on the table, two to three t shirts and pants that hang on a makeshift clothesline inside the bathroom and basic toiletries by the sink. It reminds Bucky of his life in Romania before Steve found him.

"This is it? This is how she chose to live these past months?" Wanda's heart sinks.

Anger seeps back into Steve, blaming himself for letting Natasha fall into such circumstances.

"It's necessary," Bucky says, surprising them all. "She needs to be ready to run anytime." Clint nods in agreement while Wanda tries to shut her eyes because what she's seeing is making her cry.

"Laptop's still here. Some of her guns are still here," Clint observes.

"She intended to come back," Steve says. _Only she didn't make it,_ Steve scolds himself silently and feels his jaw tighten again.

He stands by the window and sees a perfect view of the mansion from there -brick walls, red door, river at the back. On the sill he sees a coffee mug with a faint lipstick stain on its brim. Steve reaches for it and holds it carefully in his hand. He immediately puts it back down because he feels his guilt is tightening his muscles and he might break the ceramic in seconds. He looks back outside the window to hide the fact that he's trying to control his emotions.

Wanda, meanwhile surveys the groceries left on the counter - canned peaches, a couple of chocolate bars, oatmeal, cereals and a bag of instant coffee among others. Wanda imagines Natasha rolling her eyes as she tries to tolerate the bad coffee and she cannot help but smile a little. She then moves to Clint who's inspecting the laptop.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Transmissions made from secure networks, browse history is clear, everything is encrypted just as it should be," Clint says with pride.

"Did you expect anything less?" Steve asks Clint with a smile.

Clint smiles back. He leaves the laptop to Wanda and goes to inspect Natasha's bags. Wanda opens the only folder not secured with a password or encryption and discovers that it's Natasha's music playlist. She reaches for the earphones already plugged in and puts it on her ears. Wanda smiles, closes her eyes and misses her big sister even more.

Clint goes through Natasha's bag. One still has few of her guns and ammunition and the one has her personal belongings. He pulls everything out - a few more shirts, socks, under wear, spare towels and a piece of folded paper. He unfolds it and sees a child drawing in crayons. He recognizes it as Lila's drawing of her and Natasha. The paper is old and a bit crumpled with the colors already faded. Clint tries to hold back his tears.

Then Sam comes out of the bathroom holding out a gray hoodie jacket, pointing out that it's too big for Natasha. "She must have gained weight," he jokes.

"Don't let her hear you say that," Wanda warns him and they all chuckle a bit. Still, Sam keeps holding it out.

"It's winter, Wilson. It's cold. She wanted company, had a guy over. So what?" Clint says, trying to sound casual about it.

They all turn around when they hear Steve laugh softly.

"It's mine," Steve says. "She pulled it out of my closet and never gave it back." A bittersweet smile spreads across his face.

Sam joins him by the window, hands him the jacket and insists to spill more. "There's gotta be more to that story, Cap!" Sam teases him.

Wanda goes back to enjoying her music, Natasha's music, while Clint moves on to inspect the guns in the other bag.

Nobody notices it but Bucky sits down on the bed and looks at the crumpled sheets and pillows with longing in his eyes. For some reason he wants to lay down exactly where Natasha had but reigns in his desires and instead, contently places his palm on the pillow before slowly sliding it down on the sheets. Natasha hasn't lain on it for months but he's surprised to feel a certain kind of warmth reach his being, something distant but familiar. He tries searching which of his memory or memories could have prompted that feeling to surface but is confused to come up empty. Not when he's young, not with his family, nothing.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Steve calls them for a huddle to run through the plan one more time.

One o'clock came and they finally strike. They successfully entered the premises quietly. Or so they thought. They might have been quiet but their presence didn't go unnoticed by the cameras. So when the finally got inside, they're met with resistance from the armed guards but nothing they couldn't handle with a few swings, punches and kicks.

Wanda actually finds herself just standing by a doorway, watching the guys handle the armed guards. One by one the guards fall down either unconscious or dead, depending on which of the guys hit them. At the far end of the hallway, Wanda sees a couple of guards trying to escape. She's about to run after them but Steve stops her.

"Sam, follow those guys," Steve instructs Sam in between punches. Sam lets go of the guard he's trying to subdue with a headlock and runs in the direction the guards took. Bucky then takes over the guard Sam left and starts ramming his head on the wall.

"Clint, Wanda go find Nat," Steve shouts at Clint. Clint shoves the guard in his hands to Steve and runs off with Wanda at his heels. After a few seconds, Steve and Bucky finally bring down the last few guards.

Steve turns to Bucky, "Follow Clint and Wanda." Bucky nods and peels off after Clint while Steve runs after Sam.

When Steve catches up to Sam they're already at the back of the mansion and Sam's hiding behind an SUV as bullets ram it on the other side.

Sam sees Steve, "I can't see where they're coming from!"

Steve surveys the land for the shooters but instead, something on the river catches his attention. He sees a barge pulling away from the docks, a woman stands by the bow and Steve is sure despite the dark that the barge is full of people.

"Sam, the river, they're getting away! Nat could be there!"

Steve doesn't wait for Sam to respond and instead starts to run towards the river. Sam takes the opportunity to emerge from behind the SUV and spread his wings as the shooters redirected their bullets at Steve. He's about to take flight when the first explosion shakes the ground.

Bucky catches up with Clint and Wanda at the bottom of the basement stairs. They all seem to agree that basement is every kidnapper's top choice to stash their victims. The basement is dark save for a few dim yellow lights illuminating the long, cold stony corridor. They slowly walk on, Bucky's gun raised and aimed forward, Clint's arrow knocked on his bow. They reach the end of the corridor and see a metal door with a small sliding window. Clint slides it open and sees her.

"There you are," Clint whispers with a smile.

But before he can report it to Steve the first explosion comes. They all duck down, Clint covering Wanda. When the shaking stop they go back to the metal door. "Cap, we got her," Clint says to his earpiece.

Clint and Bucky step aside and let Wanda tear off the door from the wall using her powers. When the dust settled down, they all see Natasha unconscious on a thin cot on the cold cement floor. They rush to her side and Clint immediately looks for a pulse. After feeling a faint pulse, he nods to Bucky who slings his gun over his shoulder and immediately picks her up.

"Careful," Wanda reminds him.

They're at the broken metal door but the second explosion comes. Clint ducks down, and Bucky covers Natasha with his own body, raising his metal arm anticipating impact from cement and rocks from the ceiling but nothing came. Bucky looks up and sees Wanda controlling all those rocks mid-air before throwing them back inside Natasha's cell.

"Good job, kid," Clint compliments Wanda before they all rush back to the ground floor where they're just in time to meet Steve and Sam. Steve feels his heart break the moment he sees Natasha's state but then a third explosion comes and the 2nd floor caves in. They run. They got their girl back and they're going home now.


	4. Chapter 4 - Not Alone

They all wait outside the hallway as the doctor tends to Natasha inside the medical bay. Clint comforts Wanda, "She's tougher than she looks, you know that, right?" Wanda nods with a smile.

Steve and Sam stand, leaning on the wall across Clint and Wanda. Steve's been quiet since they arrived. Bucky tries to read his best friend's emotions but there's too much going on in Steve's head that he can't seem to find the right words to comfort him. So he hangs back. No one probably noticed it, but Bucky deliberately stands a few yards away from the group. Not that he doesn't feel welcome or anything, or he's not interested in everything that's happening, it's just that they all seem to share the same level of understanding and response to Natasha's situation and he, well, he's really just confused about his own feelings about it, about her. So he gives them space or rather gives himself space to process his own.

Maria finally pops out of the door. "You can all see her now."

They enter the room and see Natasha unconscious on the bed, different medical machines attached to her. Bucky stands by the door but even from his distance he finally sees what condition Natasha is in, something he couldn't when they rescued her in the dark and she was too dirty.

_She's thin, too thin. _Bucky remembers the last time he saw her before he and Steve moved back to Brooklyn. She was toned, her muscles curving at the right places, but now her bones seem to jut out at every corner.

_She was perfect, _Bucky remembers. _Still is_. A voice butts in his thoughts but is surprised to realize that it's his own. He watches as Wanda immediately runs beside the bed.

"How is she? Is it that serious?" Wanda asks worriedly, seeing all the tubes, circular electrodes, beeping monitors around them.

"Well," the doctor starts to speak. They all turn to her. "Let's start with those we can see. Multiple track marks on both of her arms. I tried counting but I gave up. Old scarring punctures, punctured over and over again. They were kind enough to alternate injecting her on her arms and toes on her feet." The doctor moves over to Natasha's feet which are also riddled with puncture wounds.

"What's with the ankle?" Clint asks.

"Sprain that was left untreated," the doctor explains. "Along with stress fractures on her toes and metatarsals. With rest and rehabilitation her bones will heal in at least six weeks."

They all watch as Steve touches Natasha's forehead. "She has a fever and her heartbeat is too fast." They all looked at the heart monitor.

"Her temperature is above normal due to severe dehydration and she's also malnourished. So she needs to rebuild her health and we also need to flush all those drugs out of her system," the doctor explains.

Bucky watches as Steve starts to gently stroke her forehead with his thumb.

"Prognosis?" They all turn around and see Fury enter and walk straight to the doctor.

"It's going to be a long recovery but, she's going to be fine," the doctor says. "But I recommend putting her under induced coma."

"Isn't that a little too much? Aren't ice, rest and fluids enough?" Sam asks, alarmed.

"Not for someone like Agent Romanoff," the doctors replies. "I don't have the details how she ended up like this, but I know, based from my experience with most agents, it's most likely due to an operation gone wrong. Now, I don't claim to know her more than you guys, but I'm willing to bet that if we wake her up now, she'll be dead set on going back out there ASAP and finish what she started. Then chances for full recovery will be slim."

They are all silent for a few moments until -

"Doc's not wrong," Clint says.

"She wouldn't like this," Wanda says with a small smile.

"Well, she's physically and mentally compromised to make a sound decision for herself so I need your consent," the doctor says and hands Clint a clipboard with a paper on it that says 'Power of Attorney'.

Clint doesn't hesitate and signs it. "She's going to kick my ass. And yours."

Steve looks up and sees Clint handing him the same clipboard. He's confused.

"Nat knows I have a soft spot for her and might not be able to make any objective decision, especially when her life is on the line. So she added you, because she knows you'd always have the strength to do what's right," Clint explains.

"Like what? Pull the plug?" Sam asks in bewilderment and Clint simply nods.

No one reacts for a moment. They wait as Steve looks at the document, tries to read it.

_ Know all Men by these presents, that I, Natalia Alianova Romanova, hereby appoint as my lawful attorneys for me and in my place and in my stead Clint Barton and Steve Rogers -_

_ To request, authorize, and consent to any and all medical treatments including but not limited to invasive and experimental treatments -_

_ To instruct withdrawal or cessation of any and all medical treatments for whatever reason they may in their absolute discretion see fit -_

Steve's head is spinning. He looks at Natasha and can't help but feel a sense of pride. Natasha has willingly given him that one thing the Black Widow was trained to never surrender at all cost, her trust.

"Cap, we're on the same page on this right?" Clint asks. With a final look at Natasha, Steve nods and signs the paper.

"Good. Now I can go to work," the doctor says and takes the document from Steve.

"How long will it be? And can we visit her?" Wanda asks with pleading eyes.

"Five to seven days then we'll see. Of course you may visit her anytime," the doctor assures her.

From the medical bay, they all proceed to the common area to discuss their next steps. Wanda realizes she doesn't want to be there, discussing strategies and what not. She would have stayed with Natasha.

"It's a shame we couldn't retrieve any intel from that place," Sam sighs.

"We sent a team to the scene and combed it but there seems to be nothing there to tie the place with the Company. That Woman, whoever she is, is smart enough to distance herself from them," Fury says.

"You found nothing? Nothing at all?" Clint asks. Fury nods to Maria, signaling her to take over.

"Not entirely. Our team found weapons, ammunition, a small stash of drugs. And we have evidence to suggest that they held at least a dozen prisoners there. So we thought, the Woman must be in charge of the Company's human trafficking business, using houses like these to groom their hostages before using them for various business transactions," Maria explains. "We can't conclusively tie that place to the Company except for the photos Nat sent us."

They all look at the screen on the wall and sees surveillance photos Nat took of several Company bosses visiting the mansion several times. But Steve knows that the photos can't really prove anything other than the fact that the Woman knows those men. But to what extent, nothing's conclusive.

Then Maria continues, "Now I know it's not exactly good news but it's still a development- after what happened in Austria, we've confirmed that the Company's doubled and tightened security in every base of operations they have left. Including their legitimate ones, big and small."

"Like posting an armed guard in one of their restaurants," Fury chuckles. "Wanna bet they're cooking more than spaghetti and meatballs in there."

Sam sighs. "So what now? We can't seem to touch the them without infringing their rights to cook spaghetti and meatballs and we don't have anymore intel on the Woman to help us make a move on her."

"Yes we do," Steve says, but his eyes glued on the screen. "It's with Nat."

They all realize Steve's right. Natasha's been in that mansion for four months and any info they seem to lack on the Woman, Natasha surely has them all.

"Then we just have to wait for her to wake up," Wanda says optimistically.

Maria nods, "Correct. Don't worry, we have eyes on the Company and we have a team working on the Woman now. We've uploaded her photo on every photo-recognition software we know of and we're connected to almost all of the cameras in the world. Let's just hope we already have info on her to trade with Romanoff when she wakes up."

And so they stayed at the Facility. Steve, Clint, Sam and Wanda easily settled in, after all they used to call the place home. A part of Steve believes that it still is. Bucky on the other hand looks like a lost boy for the first couple of days. Well, he did get lost a couple of times, forgetting which corners lead to which hallways. It's nothing like the Wakandan Palace but it's still nice. He finally gets the hang of it and learns his way to the gym and indoor pool, the kitchen and dining area the next day. Maria sets him in a bedroom adjacent to Sam.

"Steve's upstairs," Maria tells him to comfort him a bit.

In the next several days, they preoccupy themselves with various things - studying the Company, its history, routine, etc, going over Natasha's field reports and surveillance photos, training in the gym, video chatting with Clint's kids, etc. When they're not in the gym training or in the kitchen sharing heartily meals together, they would be scattered around the Facility finding things to amuse themselves. Sam once brought Bucky in the hangar and tried to teach Bucky fly a quinjet or showed off the Avengers cool rides.

"Oh-oh... don't touch that," Sam warns Bucky who seemed to have been enchanted by a sleek motorcycle bike with black leather seat. Bucky looks at him. "I know how to handle a bike, Wilson."

"I know. It's just that Nat would know if some else's butt's been on her ride," Sam chuckles and walks away. Bucky looks at the bike and suddenly finds himself imagining Natasha on it, speeding on a highway, hair way swept back, showing off her face. Bucky can't help but smile.

"Let's go, metal arm!" Sam calls. Bucky snaps out of his daydream and follows Sam.

Clint and Wanda continue their regular training, sometimes inside the gym and sometimes in the Facility's exterior grounds. Maria once joined them which Wanda appreciated. She really misses her hand to hand combat training with Nat. Maria's style is different but she welcomes it all the same.

Meanwhile, Steve mostly kept to himself, sketching at some quiet corner of the Facility where he wouldn't be bothered by recruits lurking and trying to get his autograph. He then agreed to Maria's request to visit the trainees, give a small pep talk in hopes that they would finally stop stalking him.

Maria's been observing their activities from a distance and realizes that they were not doing these things just to pass time, but to actually keep themselves from hanging at Natasha's medical bay all day long, which she knows what all of them really wants to do. Well, most of them. She's not sure about Bucky. He seems to be always hanging back like how he just stood by the doorway when they all came to see Natasha the first time. _Maybe he hasn't warmed up to her yet. Like I to him, _Maria tries reasoning with herself but not entirely convinced.

When they finally couldn't control themselves, they would go and visit Natasha. They doctor requested that they don't do it in groups but they just can't help themselves. One time, Clint, Wanda and Sam all stayed in the med bay for 3 hours, talking and goofing around.

"She's looking better, I think," Laura says. Wanda holds out her phone close to Natasha's face so Laura can see her clearly from the screen. "The dark circles under eyes are fading. Right, Sam?"

"Yeah, I think even better than how looks from the screen," Sam replies. "We can't wait for her to wake and kick your husband's ass for agreeing to this."

"I know, right?!" Laura laughs. "But you know, I would sign that, too, if it would keep her out of trouble, even for a while."

Sam smiles in understanding. He knows what Clint's feeling, seeing his best friend laying there, bruises all over her and his heart goes out to him, truly.

"Don't worry, Barton, if she kicks your ass -"

"You'll defend me?"

"No. We'll pick you after you fall flat on your face," Sam replies and they all laugh.

Steve comes in every night before going to bed to check up on Natasha. On his first couple of visits he would just sit on a chair beside her, sketching or reading but on the third night he comes around, he puts the gray hoodie jacket on her, careful not to tangle the tubes. Steve stares at Natasha and his heart sinks to see how the jacket looks three times bigger on her now that she's lost a lot of weight.

"Don't worry, I already washed it," Steve jokes and lets out a short, sad smile. He sits on the bed and holds Natasha's hand in his. He could already feel the bones of her knuckles_._

_"_I know you're going to say it's not my fault but let me still say, I'm sorry, Nat. I know you're rolling your eyes right now," Steve chuckles. "You've always been there, when I was at my lowest. When I lost Peggy, when I lost Bucky, when we lost almost everyone after the snap, you were there. When I lost every hope, you held me together. You watched out for me when I was at my weakest, and I don't think I have properly thanked you for that. So, thank you." Steve gives her hand a gentle squeeze and lets his tears fall. "I think you're the only woman left alive I'd ever be comfortable to see me cry." Steve laughs softly. He sniffles and tries to lighten his mood.

"When you wake up, we have a lot to talk about. I'm going to bore you with stories from our travel. By the way, you were right! I brought Bucky to the Grand Canyon and he loved it! Almost cried seeing the place!" Steve laughs a little more loud this time, tears still brimming his eyes.

Bucky smiles hearing Steve laugh. He stands outside the med bay, away from the door. He was aimlessly walking around the Facility and he's just surprised his feet seem to have led him there. He was about to enter the med bay but heard Steve's voice. So he stayed outside and listened.

Back inside the med bay, Steve picks up Natasha's arms and gently traces the track marks on it with his finger. "But most importantly, we're going to talk about how we're going to make you move on from all of this mess." Steve stands up and kisses Natasha on the forehead.

Bucky turns and walks away.

Bucky lays on his bed that night but sleep eludes him. Steve keeps telling him that he's been going great this past year, slowly but successfully integrated himself into the present. Bucky believes it was because Steve was there to hold his hand along the way.

"Someone did it for me before. I'm just applying everything I saw her do," Steve told him once.

"When I came out of the ice, I was as confused as you. I didn't know what to do. Sometimes a part of me wants to thank Loki and his Chitauri army because then I finally had something to do, something I was actually good at," Steve jokes.

"Kicking alien butts," Bucky adds.

"Yeah. Who knew, right? Then after that, I was lost again. I joined SHIELD thinking, 'why not'. And then Fury sent her to teach me a few spy tricks to help with the job. At first that's exactly what Natasha did. But after several months and a couple of missions she went the extra mile and helped me a few tricks and hacks to cope up everything else - internet, vending machines, self-checkout counters, ATMs, Facebook, you name it. I even called her once when my printer had a paper jam."

Bucky remembers that after that story, he became convinced that he's missing something because every time he would hear Natasha's name and her face would flash across his mind, it would prompt certain emotions in him - longing, desire, and happiness. At first he thought it was just a man's natural response when he remembers an amazing, beautiful woman. He bet Steve feels the same. But he's slowly became convinced that it's not that superficial, his reaction to Natasha is rooted deep in his being, especially when he noticed how seemingly trivial things would make him long for and think of Natasha, like moonlight, strawberry ice cream, snow, autumn.

Bucky closes his eyes to get some sleep and does his proven trick to overcome insomnia these past months - think of autumn trees and red leaves.

The next day after breakfast, Bucky decides to finally visit Natasha in the med bay. He oscillates for a while outside her door but finally decides to go in. He slowly walks to her side and smiles a little noticing that she's wearing Steve's gray hoodie jacket. Her swelling ankle is smaller now, her heartbeat is normal, and colors are starting to seep back in her cheeks which now has a light blush on them.

Then her hair catches his attention. It looks dull but Bucky wants to touch it all the same. He looks at the door, making sure no one's there or about to enter and then he reaches for it. Using his flesh arm he slowly runs his fingers on Natasha's hair on the pillow, then scoops out a handful of strands and gently strokes it with his thumb while on his palm.

And then Natasha's eyes flutter. Bucky lets go of her hair and takes a few steps back. He watches as Natasha slowly opens her eyes, but closes them back again after the lights flooded in. Bucky remembers when Shuri let him out of his cryo and how disoriented and disappointed he was to see unfamiliar faces. He wished Steve was there when he opened his eyes.

_Should I call Steve? _Bucky asks himself. _If I was her I would like to wake up to a familiar face._

But it will take him minutes to get someone else and Bucky thinks waking up to an empty room is the worst thing. So he stays and walks closer to Natasha. _I don't know how much of a friendly face I am to her, but I'm here. I'll have to be enough, _Bucky tells himself.

Natasha's eyes continue to flutter more for a couple of seconds and half opens them. _She's still groggy,_ Bucky observes. Natasha turns her head in his direction so he readies a smiles. When she manages to lay her eyes on him, Bucky sees her face become overwhelm with confusion, her brows furrowed and jaw slightly dropped. Natasha shakes her head then reaches out a hand to Bucky. Unaware of what he is doing, Bucky reaches with his metal arm and Natasha looks up to him, still in a daze.

"James?" Natasha asks soflty. Bucky holds his breath. Nobody's called him James before.

"What? Why? You're here. Didn't they take you? I saw them take -," Natasha stammers as she continues to shake her head and squeezes her eyes shut.

A nurse comes in and breaks into a run seeing Natasha awake. She checks her IV and vitals and looks confused. "She's not yet supposed to be waking up." The doctor comes in and instructs the nurse to up the dosage of sedative.

"Her brain's fighting to wake up. We're supposed to bring her back out by lowering the dosage gradually until she wakes up naturally," the doctor explains to Bucky who is not really listening. Still holding Natasha's hand with his metal one, he looks at Natasha as she continues to mumble random words that don't make sense to him.

"James," Natasha says softly again. "You found me." Bucky finds himself staring at her green eyes. _Those green eyes. I love those eyes. _Bucky's heart screams in silence. He's about to say something back to her when Natasha falls back to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 - Red Room 20

_I can't remember the last time someone called me James, _Bucky contemplates as he lays on his bed.

It has been two days since Natasha unexpectedly woke up and he's been wrapping his head around at what happened, especially at what she said. Bucky cannot make sense of it but what's kept him up all night thinking was how Natasha uttered his name with such ease and familiarity and the only explanation he can think of is because it wasn't the first time his name came out of her lips. But as far as he can remember, Natasha's always called him Barnes. Everyone else eased into calling him Bucky, but not her. There's definitely more to this... between him and her. Bucky's convinced. A knock on the door snaps him out of his thoughts and he hears Steve from the other side. "Are you ready, Buck? Everyone's downstairs. Let's go."

"Yeah. Coming," Bucky replies and meets Steve outside his room.

They have been told that Natasha finally woke up that morning but the doctor said it would be best to give her space for several hours. Waking up into a crowded room might disorient her more, besides the doctor has a few followup tests to do to check everything is okay before she can let her off the bed. So they waited the entire day, anxious and excited as far as Bucky can tell.

"What are you going say to her?" Bucky asks Steve as they make their way downstairs.

"Honestly, I don't know, Buck," Steve replies.

They arrive at the dining area and everyone's there already, including Fury. Clint nervously drinks probably his 20th cup of coffee that day and Wanda is busy plating her freshly baked cookies.

"Smells nice. She's going to like that," Sam compliments her. Wanda smiles back with pride. "But you know that's not what the doctor meant when she said Nat needs to rebuild her health, right?" Wanda playfully sticks her tongue out at him.

Steve sits next to Sam while Bucky stands a little farther back. He honestly doesn't know what he should do when Natasha arrives. He's sure everyone else does but him, he's confused.

Meanwhile in the medical bay, Maria is helping Natasha get dressed as the doctor gives her reminders.

"Drink plenty of water, don't stay up too late and most importantly stay off those feet for a little while more until it's completely healed," the doctor says and points to a pair of crutches by the foot of the bed. Natasha's eyes widen and shakes her head. The doctor smiles but nods again. Natasha shakes her head adamantly.

"Well, if you don't want to use them, make sure you don't overuse your feet. No unnecessary walking," the doctor instructs.

Natasha shrugs her shoulder. Maria grabs the crutches and waits for Natasha by the door as she puts on her gray hoodie jacket. She then finally walks to Maria and they walk out of the medical bay, Natasha limping a bit, trying not to put much weight on her left leg.

They make their way to the common living area. Maria asks, "Are you ready?"

"I can handle Fury's fury, Hill," Natasha says in a weak yet cocky tone.

"Of course you can. But are you ready for them?" Maria asks with a mischievous smile as they enter the room. Natasha stops dead on her tracks by the door seeing who else is in there.

They all stand as Maria enters the door and hold their breath as Natasha slowly appears and stops by the doorway.

"What the hell -" Natasha whispers, seeing all these familiar faces.

Clint makes the first move and hugs his best friend and as soon as he did, he starts sobbing on her shoulders. A few seconds later, Wanda runs to her and the three of them hug for a while, Clint and Wanda muttering "Thank god you're okay" or "We were so worried" in between sobs. The surprise finally ebbs away and Natasha finds herself hugging them back, welcoming the warmth of their tears on her skin. Maria chuckles to see that Natasha, the injured one, has to rub Clint's back to calm down his crying . When Clint and Wanda are finally content, they pull away and Natasha sees Sam standing there, with a big grin on his face.

"Hey there, warrior queen," Sam says then hugs her. "I missed you." Natasha smiles at him and hugs him back.

Sam pulls away and Natasha sees Steve walking towards her. There's no smile on his face like the others but Natasha's anxiety disappears as Steve encloses her within his arms and kisses her on the top of her head.

"Hey. I'm here," Steve whispers. She trembles a little, hearing Steve's comforting words and hugs him back. "I'm so glad you're okay." Natasha doesn't say anything but simply buries her face on his chest.

"Ahm, Rogers", Natasha says softly after a few seconds. "I know how much you miss me, but I don't want a broken rib right now." Everyone chuckles as Steve realizes he's been hugging her too tight. He releases her as his cheeks burn.

"I like your jacket," he teases Natasha.

"Thanks, I stole it from an old man," Natasha quips back with her signature smirk. Steve smiles back.

Then she notices Bucky standing a few feet away behind Steve. Steve steps aside to give Bucky the space. Natasha smiles at Bucky but he doesn't budge. He watched everyone greet Natasha, how they greeted her and how she responded to them and for a second he thought that a small acknowledging smile from him would do. But now with Natasha's eyes locked on him, he's not exactly sure what to do.

"Are you really going to make me walk all the way up there for my hug, Barnes?" Natasha teases him. But Bucky is still frozen, holding his breath. Steve looks at his best friend and sees Bucky's confused and panicked face. He's never known Bucky to be intimidated by a woman before.

"Okay, then," Natasha says and starts to take her steps towards him. Finally, Bucky comes to his senses and starts to walk to her.

"No, please, stop. I'm sorry," Bucky says, blushing as he walks up to her and receives a nice warm hug from her. He wraps his arms around her waist and feels Natasha' hair brush against his cheek. A gush of happiness and pleasure rush through Bucky that he wished he could keep her in his arms for a little longer more. But knowing that it would be weird for everyone to see, he keeps his cool and pulls away from the hug. He looks down at Natasha who's smiling back at him. He smiles back.

"There she is. Alive and kicking," Fury says. Natasha sees him and gives him a hug too. "I thought we lost you there."

"Well, I'm here, boss," she replies playfully as Fury releases her. She watches him walk away from her and a stand a few feet by the glass window in silence. Natasha looks at Maria then to Clint then the three of them try to hide playful smiles. Maria shakes her head and bows down to hide hers, while Clint shrugs his shoulder and crinkles his nose at her. Natasha raises her hand and starts a silent countdown, mouthing numbers and folding her fingers as she goes, "Three, two, one aaaaaaand -"

"What the f**k you were thinking, Romanoff?!" Fury shouts. He turns to them again looking like an erred mother scolding her mischievous children. "What part of don't engage you didn't get?" Natasha, Clint and Maria all suppress their laughter.

Natasha finally composes herself. "I was getting bored, boss."

"And look what happened?" Fury shuts her down.

Natasha rolls her eyes and makes her way to the table where she sits next to Sam. Wanda slowly pushes the plate of cookies towards her. She grabs one and starts eating. They smile at each other. "I gave you a chance, Nick."

They all look at Natasha waiting for an explanation. Without the physical damage evident in Natasha, anyone can be forgiven to think that she's fine, that nothing happened to her. But Steve and Clint knows better. Natasha may seem like her old self with the eye rolling and quick sass but she's not. She's shaken, emotionally.

"I watched your plans sizzle. Sending building inspectors, sanitation inspectors just to get a foot inside that compound and still nothing. So I went in. I had of enough of waiting."

"But that's what you do, Romanoff. Spies are supposed to be patient," Fury says with disappointment. "Why become careless now?"

Natasha's silent for a while, absentmindedly playing with cookie crumbs on her fingers. "Why?" Fury repeats.

"I don't know," Natasha says, her voice raised a little. Steve slightly furrows his brows, surprised at Natasha's sudden agitated tone. "It's been months, nothing's happening, snow started falling then it's Christmas already - I don't know, maybe I just wanted to finish it so I can finally come home!"

Everyone's taken aback by Natasha's remark, both with what she said and how she said it. It's rare for all of them to see Natasha lose her cool like that. They can all feel the tension and they're all afraid of the Black Widow. Until -

"You want milk with that cookie?" Sam says softly and cautiously.

Natasha looks at him and Sam holds his breath. "Of course, Wilson. I'd like a glass of cold milk. I'm a spy not a caveman. Thank you", she replies with a demanding voice but followed by a smile. Sam smiles back. Clint laughs and Steve simply shakes his head, chuckling. Wanda helps Sam with Natasha's cold glass of milk.

"I'd take more of your scolding later, boss, but I believe there are more pressing matters to discuss beside my insubordination," Natasha says coolly to Fury as she continues to munch on her cookies. Fury seems to have calm down too. He looks and nods at Maria.

"Unfortunately, we cannot make a move on the Company right now without raising an alarm," Maria starts.

"Let me guess. Tightened security, changes in routines," Natasha says and Maria nods. "They'd be on the low key for a while, for sure. They're not going to be a threat, at least for a while. We have other fish to catch."

"Yes," Maria continues. She taps a few buttons on her tablet and seconds later the Woman's face is splashed across the screen on the wall. "About her, well, no progress on that end."

"Her name is Anya Egunov," Natasha says. Everyone looks at her waiting for her to expound on her discovery. Maria starts typing on her tablet. "There's no use, Hill. She's erased everything. You won't find any trace of her."

"Who is she?" Steve asks and sits next to Natasha.

Natasha reaches out her hand to Maria for the tablet and she tries to log in. But after punching in her credentials the computer screams, "Access Denied." Natasha looks at Maria with confusion.

Maria takes the tablet back and rectifies the status, "An agent goes missing for months. We don't know who has access to your credentials. Security measure. You know that." Finally the computer says in its robotic voice, "Natalia Romanova, Access Granted." Maria hands the tablet back and Natasha goes to work.

The name the computer mentioned make Bucky's heart skip a bit. _Natalia. I like the sound of that, _Bucky admits and steals a glance at Natasha who is already working on the tablet, her fingers moving too fast for Bucky to follow. Across Bucky, he sees Clint holds his breath as Natasha pulls out files from the archives and puts them on the screen for everyone to see. Bucky looks at the documents and photos and realizes it's all from a folder labeled with Natasha's name. Bucky braces himself as he takes every information or detail he can see on the screen that might shed a light on his questions about him and Natasha.

Natasha finally finds out what she's looking for and puts up an old black and white photo of a woman, in her 40s, with sharp features, wearing some sort of uniform.

"Vera Morozov, former KGB operative in charge of overseeing the Academy's Black Widow program. She was our headmistress," Natasha starts, her eyes fixed on the woman's face on the screen. Steve can't help but admire with sadness how Natasha can be so emotionless while talking about her history.

"We called her Mistress V. When I was 4 years old, she was called away for a mission. Together with Anton Kozlov, another operative, they were sent to an undercover operation here in the US. After four years, Mistress V came back to the Academy with little Anya tugging at her skirt. We could only speculate that Anya was a necessary accessory, to somehow complete their cover story - harmless, happy Russian family building a life on US soil."

Natasha shifts a little on her seat and Steve sees the discomfort on her face. "You should put that up," Steve says and helps her lift her leg on a chair next to her. Sam grabs an ice bag from the fridge and places it on her leg.

"Thanks," Natasha says softly. "Anyway, Anya was brought up in the same place as us. But her mother, Mistress V never allowed her to train with us. She attended academic and ballet classes but never any combat training. She was kept in her room most of the time that's why we called her the 'Recluse'. She was relentless on insisting to her mother that she wanted to join the program, but Mistress V didn't cave in. When she was 13, they discovered that one of the girls in our program has been secretly training her for almost a year. Crossed and angry, Mistress V shipped Anya off to a boarding school in Europe and we never heard of her ever again."

"Poor girl," Wanda says.

"Not really," Natasha says softly. Wanda looks at her and sees Natasha's eyes flicker with self pity while staring at Anya's recent photo she puts up on the screen. "As they shoved her in the car that day and that car exited the premises a part of me wished it was me in there. I didn't know where she was going but I didn't care. I just thought where ever it was, it couldn't be worse than where I already was."

"So where was she all this time?" Fury asks.

"Well, she was shipped to a boarding school in -"

"Let me guess, Austria," Cling finishes and Natasha nods.

"Where she caused constant chaos until a year later, she ended up killing two students and burning down the school . She was then brought to a super secret prison for the criminally insane and has been there up until snap."

"She escaped," Maria says.

Natasha nods then continues, "When more than half of the prison's personnel disappeared a lot of the prisoners took advantage and managed to broke themselves out. The Company learned of her escape and they contacted her."

"How did you know all of this?" Maria asks.

"She loved to talk. I guess she was too excited to see someone from her past is still alive that she couldn't help herself from blabbering," Natasha replies before munching on her second cookie.

"So the Company makes an effort to find her to do what?" Clint asks. Natasha ignores Clint and makes a few punches on the tablet. In a few seconds they see a skeleton organizational chart on the screen. Natasha puts Anya's photo on the top of the pyramid then lines up several photos on the next row below it. "There were others in that mansion too. Glenn Vanin, Physicist. Aaron Cornell, Historian. Simon Wood, Hacker -"

" Simon Wood as in the Cyber WoodWorm? He's still alive? I thought the Feds took care of him after you tipped them off?" Clint asks in surprise.

"Yeah. Well, that wasn't him. He's good," Natasha replies. "But I'm way better."

"Amen to that," Clint murmurs in agreement.

Natasha continues lining up photos on the screen. "There was also Donna Williams, Principal Ballet dancer and as you all know, Michael Stahl, Surgeon."

"All abducted, I bet," Sam remarks. "Hill says at least two dozens could have been held captive there."

"Aside from these five. There were 28 more," Natasha replies and keeps quiet for a while as she types 28 names on a new row below the 6 she mentioned. They all wait as she finishes.

Wanda reads some of the names, "Claire, Aya, Bernadette, Leslie, Christine, Louise, Ashaki, Emilia -"

"Yes. All girls between 4 to 6 years old. Abducted from different corners of the world," Natasha says.

Maria grabs the tablet from Natasha and starts punching in on the buttons like a mad man. They all watch as she cross reference the names to all Missing Persons database they are connected to and in less than five minutes, they finally have a face to every name. Maria looks at Natasha, confirming if she found the right girls based on the photos.

"Yes, that's them," Natasha replies. She looks at the girls on the screen for a while before tearing her eyes away from them. Steve swears he saw a glint of tears on them. He reaches out and gently squeezes her shoulder. Natasha looks at him and gives him a weak smile.

Bucky looks at the photos on the screen then back to the rest of the guys who have fallen silent. They all look like they have finally come to understand everything, even Steve when he squeezes Natasha's shoulder. He's surprised to see himself feeling uncomfortable being left out. So he surprises everyone when he finally talks for the first time in a long while.

"So she handles the human trafficking business of the Company," Bucky says.

"No, not exactly," Natasha says. Bucky looks at her and is surprised at what he sees. _Fear. She's scared_, Bucky realizes, looking through those big green eyes.

"She created another Red Room," Natasha says coldly.

_Author's Note: __*Of course, I borrowed details from the comic books. I mean, Black Widow has one of the most amazing origin stories in the comic book universe so I used some them throughout this story.* _


	6. Chapter 6 - Back in Hell

Nobody says anything for a while. Bucky looks at everyone and they're all deep in thought. Natasha however, is on her fourth cookie, casually dunking it in her glass of milk. He looks at Steve and he too is thinking but unlike the others he's staring at Natasha while thinking. Bucky doesn't know exactly what the Red Room is but what confuses him is when he saw the fear in Natasha's eyes a while ago, he felt it too, and it was familiar just like everything else he feels that relates to Natasha.

Fury stops pacing back and forth and finally asks, "Four months, Natasha. You were there for four months. What happened in there?"

They all turn their attention back to Natasha. Natasha takes a deep breath and with a comforting nod from Steve she begins her story.

**Back in Austria - Nearly Five Months Ago**

_"_Wakey-wakey, little spidey. Come and see who's here,_" _a woman's voice mocks in a sing-song tone.

Natasha tries to open her eyes. She can hear the woman's voice, menacingly teasing her. She can feel her hands tied behind her back, each of her feet tied separately on the two front legs of the chair she's sitting on, and she can feel the massive headache splitting her head in half. She keeps her head down and even though things are blurry she can make out several pairs of boots on the cement floor. When she raises her head a little she makes at least five silhouettes of men, armored and armed. She blinks fast a couple of times in an effort to focus everything and when it does, her body tenses for a fraction of a second before her training could kick in. She composes herself, pushing every pain in her body in the back of her mind, as she comes face to face with the Woman.

"There you are. Hello, sister,"the Woman says with a huge, creepy smile on her face.

"Who are you?" Natasha says softly and she sees the smile on the Woman's face fade and is replaced by hurt. _What can this weirdo be hurt about?_ Natasha wonders.

The Woman takes a deep breath to calm herself and turns back to Natasha, "I forgive you, sister. It's not your fault that you can't remember. But please try. Look at me and try to remember." Natasha stares at her but remains clueless.

"LOOK AT ME!" the Woman screams at last. She grabs Natasha's face and pulls it close to hers, their breath mingling in the small space of air between their noses.

Forced to look on, Natasha does what she's told and tries to remember where and when she's seen those brown eyes, sharp nose and high cheekbones aside from the photos she took from her apartment window. It wasn't obvious on the photos but Natasha notices that the Woman's thin lips curl at both ends, creating an illusion of a creepy smile. That's when it dawns on her. _That creepy smile with that disgusting smell. I know her._

"Anya?" Natasha says softly. Anya releases Natasha's face and stands in front of her, pleased.

"That's right. Thought I was dead, didn't you, Natalia?" Anya crosses her arms and can't help but look a little too pleased at Natasha's confused look. Natasha tries to speak, ask or at least make any kind of sound but a thousand thoughts and memories come hammering her head. She tries to comprehend everything but her headache is back, like a huge dam breaking and releasing thousands of tons of water. Natasha screams in pain.

"I apologize for that, sister. It's the sedative they gave you. Don't worry, tonight you'll rest and then tomorrow, we'll have fun. We have a lot of catching up to do," Anya says and leaves the room followed by her guards. Natasha hears the metal door slams shut and knowing there's nothing she can do at the moment, she doesn't try to free herself. Instead, she focuses on managing her headache until she surrenders to the dark and cold of sleep.

Natasha feels a lot better the day next. The headache has abated but her head still feels like a balloon-filled with nothing but air, plus her body feels like rubber. After getting fed with a bread and an apple, the guards lead her to Anya. Keeping her senses high as much as she can, Natasha realizes that she's kept in the basement. And now that more light pours in, Natalia sees that her hunch regarding the mansion's interior is correct - high ceiling, arching doorways, the staircase's handrail chiseled with intricate sculptures. As they half drag, half carry her they pass by the red front door and its iron-wrought locks.

_I'm back in hell. There's really no escaping this life_, Natasha realizes with dread.

The guards are kind enough to sit her on a large comfy couch across Anya. Anya's in one of her elegant coats, blue this time with high collar and double breasted cut. Anya notices that she's staring at her coat.

"Ah, it's true then what they say, you always have a weakness for the color blue. I wonder why," Anya teases her. Natasha raises her eyes and looks straight into Anya's. Green versus brown.

"Why are you doing this?" Natasha asks. She's not really a fan of chit chats but she decides to take advantage of Anya's tete-a-tete to buy her sometime, at least until she can finally feel her legs again.

"Oh, straight to the why, huh? Are you not curious how I'm still -"

"No. I don't care. I've seen people come back from the dead. You're not my first zombie," Natasha cuts off Anya , which irritated the latter a bit. "You've been through this, you've lived this, why go back?"

"Wrong," Anya replies. She stands up and stands by the fireplace. "I may have grew up in a house like this before, with you and everyone else, but I never get to actually live it, didn't I?"

"You got your ticket way out. You had all the chance for something better, a chance that none of us ever had," Natasha says.

"I didn't ask to be out. I wanted to be IN! I knew what was going in that house, I knew what you were training for and I WANTED THAT! But mother couldn't see that because she's so blinded by YOU!"

Natasha can't help but feel a little victory in her heart. She found Anya's weakness. _Her jealousy_. "It wasn't my fault, you know," Natasha remarks, provoking Anya. "It wasn't my fault that your mother favored me more than you." Anya pierces Natasha with a look of hurt and anger. "But at least now I understand why you're doing this. You're trying to create that one thing you ever wanted but never had. You wanted to be the Widow but you're just not good enough that not even your mother believed you could do it."

"Shut up!" Anya shouts and rushes over to Natasha. She leans down on Natasha, fuming in anger. Natasha smiles and takes her cue. Anya's too angry that when she realizes Natasha's plan, it's already too late and Natasha's knee already connected with her stomach. Anya stumbles back and falls on the center table, clutching her stomach. Before she can do anything, Natasha's already on her feet, running outside the door.

"Stop her!" Anya screams at the top of her lungs. Guards run after Natasha as Anya gets back on her feet.

Natasha knows going for the front door will be futile since unlocking those bolts will take a while, so she goes straight for the access door she used the night before. But her heart sinks when she finds that barred too. The guards catch up with her and she puts up a fight. She's not at her one hundred percent so she is grateful to find out that Anya's guards were imbeciles. She manages to snatch a pistol from one of the unconscious guards and points it at another one when she hears Anya. She turns and sees Anya by the archway that separates the kitchen from the dining hall.

"This is how it's going to go. I'm going out that door and I won't shoot your guy here," Natasha bargains.

"Shoot him. I don't care. I don't even know his name," Anya says with her creepy smile. The guard looks at her pleadingly but when Anya shrugs her shoulders, the guard starts to beg Natasha for his life. "Shoot him, Black Widow."

Natasha looks at the guard, "Stand up, open the door". The guard quickly does what he's told, thinking following Natasha's order will give him a better chance of survival since he can run out of there with her. Natasha and Anya only look at each other as the guard works on the bolts of the door. Then the door finally opens.

"There's your exit, Natalia. You don't need him anymore. Shoot him." Anya shouts at them. The guard looks at Natasha pleadingly. Natasha hesitates. "Look here, sister." Natasha looks at Anya and her eyes widen. There standing beside Anya is the girl with the curly black hair. "Choose. Him or her."

Natasha's heart races and doesn't move for a few seconds. She looks at the guard then at the girl then back at the guard. She lifts her pistol and points it at the guard who simply closes his eyes, face stained with tears and waits for the inevitable. But no piercing bullet came. He opens his eyes and sees Natasha lowers her gun. She can't choose.

_We don't trade lives._ Steve's voice ringing in her head. "Fine, you win. I'll stay. I won't kill him but I won't step out of that door either. I'll do whatever you say just keep that gun away from that little girl's head."

Anya smiles. She nods to another guard who walks up to Natasha and handcuffs her. He then walks to the pleading man by the door and shoots him point blank. Natasha gasps. Then another shot echoes and Natasha turns just in time to see the little girl with the black curly hair falls down with a huge hole on her temple.

"That's your fault. You hesitated. I didn't care if that man lived or die or you escape. But you hesitated and what was it that they taught you back then about hesitating?"

"Hesitate and you die," Natasha repeats the words from her past, staring at the lifeless body of the girl on the floor.

"That's right. You hesitated and now two people are dead. You killed them, not I," Anya accuses her before walking away with a triumphant smile on her face. The guards drag Natasha away and she doesn't fight back. She lets them as she takes a last look on the girl on the floor.

**Present Day - Avengers Facility**

"Jesus," Sam says, enraged. Natasha looks at him and sees him massage his temples. She then looks at Clint and finds him simply staring at the floor. Same with Maria. Wanda on the other hand, is already sniffling and wiping a few tears off. Fury as usual has his poker face on. Then she turns over at Bucky who simply gives her a comforting nod.

"It's not your fault," Steve says beside her. Natasha chuckles which surprises everyone.

"You're right it's not. It's actually yours," Natasha says to him with a smirk. "I hesitated because of what you said once. We don't trade lives, right?" Steve smiles back at her. Natasha reaches for his hand. "But she was right. I hesitated so it was my fault."

"And then what?" Fury asks impatiently. Everyone knows he's not being insensitive but getting intel from Natasha is top priority at the moment.

"They kept me in the cell for the first week. When we had our catching up, Any came down to the basement herself. Smart move because she knew the more they let me out of that cell, the more chances I get to escape. Things started to change though, in the second week when they dragged me back to the house and into the dance studio."

"Dance studio?" Wanda asks.

"Just like any training room but with mirrors and horizontal bars," Natasha explains with a smile.

**Back in Austria - Five months ago.**

Natasha finds herself standing in front of a wall with mirrors left to right, ceiling to floor. Anya walks in wearing a black leotard, pink flowy skirt draped around her waist, ballet flats on her feet and a tight bun on her head.

"What do you want now?" Natasha asks, deliberately sounding irritated.

"Don't be like that, sister. You're here because I have a job offer for you."

Natasha doesn't respond. She raises her eyebrows and just keeps her eyes on Anya to show her that she's losing patience for her antics. Anya finally replies, "Fine. I'll tell. I want you to teach the girls ballet."

"Why? You already have Williams. I've seen her dance, she's good. Even better than me," Natasha says with honesty in her voice.

"Oh, yes... she's way better than you," Anya teases Natasha. "But you see, she doesn't fully understand what we are doing here. Unlike you. You know learning ballet is not just - dancing. It's not just a cover story. It's part of the overall training. I think you yourself can admit it. Learning ballet made you a better at fighter, didn't it?"

_She's not wrong, _Natasha agrees but decides to challenge Anya again. "So what happens if I refuse? You're gonna kill another one of the girls? You're gonna kill Williams so you can say that the position is vacant?"

"Kill her? No. Not kill her," Anya says. Natasha watches as the guards drag Williams into the studio.

She's in a full ballet costume, tutu and pointe shots and everything. They position her right in front of Natasha. They look at each other but Natasha's surprised at what she sees or rather, not sees. There's no tears on Williams' face. Instead, there is determination and defiance on her.

"I'd rather die than teach those girls and live long enough to see what they become. I don't want any participation in that," Williams says, her voice is strong but cracked a few times. Natasha nods at her in understanding, acknowledging her courage.

"Who says anything about dying?" Anya scoffs. "If you don't want to teach the girls. Fine. I won't kill you for that. Besides, you're too pretty to be just - dead. But I'm afraid, if you won't be teaching my girls how to dance, then you won't be dancing at all."

Panic instantly creeps into Natasha, knowing exactly what Anya meant.

"No!" Natasha screams but Anya already has a pistol in her hand and unhesitatingly shoots Williams in both legs. Williams screams in pain and she realizes what's just happened when finally falls on the floor.

"There. Position's vacant. You're hired," Anya says to Natasha before leaving the room. "Hurry and clean up. Your first class starts in 30 minutes."

Natasha slowly kneels down in front of Williams. "I'm so sorry." Williams look up at her this time with tears on her face. But Natasha can tell that the tears are because of the bullet wounds. The same courage she saw earlier is still there.

Williams pulls her closer and whispers in her ear, "I tried. But I don't have the strength to help them. I believe you do."

Before Natasha can say anything, the guards carelessly pull Williams up and drag her out the room. Natasha doesn't move for a moment. She stays kneeling on the floor, digesting what Williams said.

_Maybe she's right, N_atasha considers for a moment._ I can buy all of us time until I can think of something._

A new guard comes in and throws her ballet uniform at her. It hits Natasha square in the face. She looks at him, memorizing his face. The guard feels chills run down his spine. He swallows his fear then marches of the door.

"So you want to me dance to your tune? Okay. Let's dance then," Natasha whispers to herself with a small grin on her face.

**Present Day - Avengers Facility**

"I bet under better circumstances you would have been a great teacher," Clint tries to ease Natasha's tension.

"What are you talking about, Barton. She'd be great under any circumstances," Sam says playfully and winks at Natasha. Natasha smiles at them while Clint sticks his tongue out at Sam. They all chuckle a bit.

"For a while, things weren't bad," Natasha continues and they pay attention again. "Having a structure helped me focused, think better, and I remembered how dancing helped me cope up back in the day, how it cleared my head, kept my fear at bay when I was their age. It was just me and the music, you know? So I did my best hoping that I can make ballet have the same effect on them. It was working for a while, until the end of the first month."

**Back in Austria - Roughly Four Months Ago**

Natasha lays down on her dirty cot in her cell. It's been almost a month since her capture and with the exception of her disgusting accommodation, she's surprised to find that things are not as bad as she expected it would be. Of course, she'd rather not be there, she'd rather not have Williams lose both of her legs, she'd rather not have those 27 girls sleeping upstairs and go through hell, but under the circumstances, Natasha's relieved that they're all still breathing.

_Breathing, but not necessarily alive,_ Natasha thinks, defeated. _So I have to think of something soon._

She's almost asleep when her cell door opens and two guards drag her upstairs and out to the courtyard. She looks around and sees the girls are all there, standing in attention in their pyjamas. In the center of the snow-covered yard she sees Anya standing in front of a man kneeling on the snow. She gasps a bit to see it's Dr. Stahl. The guards position Natasha a few feet from them.

"Good you're here. Remember those times when we were kids when someone tried to escape?", Anya asks her.

"Only one tried," Natasha remembers.

"And why is that?" Anya asks her playfully.

"Everyone realized that escape plans were futile. Olga didn't even make it outside the gate," Natasha recalls that night.

She remembers seeing Olga run for the gate. Eleven-year old Natasha's confused why no one was chasing after her and when Olga's a few feet from the gate, her heart was almost hopeful, almost cheering for Olga until a shot rang out and Olga's tiny figure slumped forward and fell on the ground. She looked around and saw Mistress V with a rifle in her hand. She let Olga believe that she's going to make it and at the last second, she crushed her dreams. Natasha clenched her fist in anger and swore that night that Mistress V deserved to die.

"That's right," Anya agrees. Natasha snaps back to her present hell and watches Anya raises a pistol against Dr. Stahl's forehead. "I thought of not making a big deal out of this because you know, this old man didn't know any better, but I realize I can make this a teaching moment for everyone." Anya looks at Natasha sharply. "Children come closer." The girls slowly move further outside into the snow and that's only when Natasha notices they're all barefoot.

"Children, this is the most important lesson that you need to remember - there is no escape from this place. The sooner you accept that, the easier things will be. I promise. Am I right, Natalia?"

Natasha looks at Anya with anger in her eyes. Anya recognizes the hate in them and she continues to taunt her, "Tell them. You were once like them. Tell them accepting their fate is the best way to survive."

Natasha slowly turns to girls and she freezes not because of the cold but because of how the girls look at her with their pleading eyes. Natasha swallows the lump in her throat that came into being for trying so hard to not cry. Some of the girls are already crying, some look at her with hope still in them, hope that Natasha will contradict Anya. But she disappoints them.

"She's right," Natasha's voice cracks and croaks. "We're stuck here. We're stuck here together. This is home now." And the girls finally cry. Right at that moment, Natasha hated herself even more.

"Well said," Anya says triumphantly while clapping her hands. "It's now time for another lesson." Natasha trembles as Anya hands her the pistol. "Kill him." It's Dr. Stahl's turn to cry louder.

"No," Natasha says adamantly. "I won't kill an innocent man. Not again."

"And that's exactly the problem with you," Anya says. "You forgot who you are, Black Widow." Anya clutches the pistol and fires. Aside from the silencer attached on the gun, the rest of the shot is muffled and drowned by the robust winds of winter that Natasha's sure no one outside the mansion would have heard it. Natasha's heart seems to stop as she sees one of the girls suddenly fall down and her blood starts to stain the snow. The other girls shriek and cry louder. Anya points the gun at them and they instantly shut up. Anya doesn't say anything but simply hands back the pistol at Natasha.

"Take it," Dr. Stahl tells her. "Do it."

"I can't," Natasha protests. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"She's not going to stop killing them until you do and I think you and I agree that we don't want another child to be brought into this hell."

"He's right," Anya interrupts. "I won't get replacements as long as you kill him. Transporting an adult with legal travel papers is easier than smuggling little trashes like them. I promise. You have my word."

_Your word means nothing to me,_ Natasha reigns in her fury.

She looks at Dr. Stahl again who's surprisingly calmer now. He gives her an encouraging nod. Natasha takes the pistol and for a second it feels good in her hands. Having one has always been comforting to her but not right now. She wants to throw it away. Natasha looks at it and shakes her head. "I can't." Dr. Stahl whimpers louder. Then something lights up in Natasha's brain. She turns around, raises the pistol and points it at Anya. _If I kill her now, it will all be over._

But Anya simply smiles, doesn't even flinch, and Natasha realizes why as the guards raise their own guns and point them at her. She holds her breath. _No. If I'm going to die here, I'd die by my own hand, _Natasha tells herself so she immediately turns the pistol at herself. As she was ready to pull the trigger, she sees the guards turn their guns at the girls. Natasha freezes. _No._

She looks at Anya and anger seethe further inside her. She grinds her teeth as her breathing becomes heavy and uneven. Anya just stands there, challenging her, waiting for her to break. Natasha's entire body twitches as she tries to run other scenarios in her head.

"There's no other way," Dr. Stahl says softly behind her. "Kill me. Save them."

Defeat rushes over Natasha. She turns to the doctor and pulls the trigger. Anya laughs and starts clapping as soon as the gunshot is carried away by the wind. "That's it! That's who you are! You just hesitated for a moment but other than, I swear I could almost see the Black Widow in you." Anya starts walking back to the mansion as the guards order the girls to follow. Natasha remains by Dr. Stahl's body for a while, pistol still in her hand, tears in her eyes.

**Present Day - Avengers Facility**

"You did what you had to do to save those girls. I would have done the same thing," Sam tells her.

"Save them? They're still out there, Sam. Saving them was me pulling that trigger on myself," Natasha says a little angry. "I should - I should have just killed myself and then it would have been all over. Hell would have been over for those girls and Anya would have lost."

"How's your own death a loss to her?" Wanda says.

"She broke me, Wanda," Nat says, tears starting to well on her eyes. "She brought out the old Widow in me. I killed an innocent man."

Bucky's heart silently breaks. He knows exactly what Natasha's going through. At that moment he wants to run by her side and hug her, tell her that he understands, that she's not alone. But Bucky holds his ground. He watches as Steve, who's been holding her hand this whole time, gently squeezes it. Clint is still on his chair across Natasha and he's still sniffling and wiping his face with the back of his hand. Bucky remembers Steve telling him the story of Clint recruiting Natasha into SHIELD so he understands his reaction.

No one speaks for a while as they wait for Natasha to compose herself again. Tears are rolling out of her eyes too and she quickly wipes them away before she continues her story.

"After that night, things changed. Security tightened, not just around the premises but on me as well. I was never left alone as I go about my day, two guards constantly following me, giving me no opportunity to be left alone with the girls or anyone else."

"I think that was the point," Maria says and Natasha nods.

"After Dr. Stahl, Anya couldn't take chances anymore of anyone else plotting behind her back so guards in the morning and drugs at night." Natasha lifts the sleeve of her gray hoodie jacket and everyone remembers her track marks. "They couldn't even risk having me awake at night. What a shame, I always loved staring at the moon and let it watch me fall asleep," Natasha says as she traces her marks with her fingers as if in a daze.

_Moonlight,_ Bucky suddenly remembers and there it is again. Longing and happiness at the same time.

"I don't know what they gave me because it knocked me out every time," Natasha continues. "I don't even remember if I still dreamed while under."

"What about these fractures?" Sam asks. He removes the already thawed ice bag from her leg and helps her wipe the water off.

"Overtime the drugs' effect often linger until the next day so it became difficult for me to keep my balance. I slowly lost muscle coordination, landing from a jump with my eyes half closed and wobbling knees. The replacement doctor wasn't as good as Stahl and the fact that I had to put weight on it everyday didn't exactly help."

Natasha thanks Sam and she puts her leg down. She releases a huge sigh of relief and receives a smile from Steve. She smiles back, happy and grateful that that's over and done with. That morning while still in the med bay she was dreading how she would recount her months of captivity without breaking down. And now that she's done it with just a few tears, she can't help but be proud of herself in a way.

"That's it," Natasha finally says. "That's what 5 months of my recent life have been. What's next, boss?"

Fury looks at her with a grin. "Oh, so you want orders from me now ? Why bother? So you have something to break again?"

Clint, Maria and Natasha all smile. "Come on, boss. You gotta let that go," Natasha teases him. "I have scar tissues on my arms, fractures on every toes on my feet, and my ass looks way smaller than how Steve remembers it... I think those are punishment enough, right?"

Natasha gives Steve a flirty but playful wink and Steve instantly blushes. Sam, Clint and Maria shake their heads, hiding their laughter so as to not embarrass Steve further.

"You know what, Romanoff... you're right. It's way smaller than how I remember it," Steve flirts back with a smile.

"Nice. You've finally learned,"Natasha pats him on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you." They all finally laugh out loud. Bucky smiles seeing his best friend blush.

"Your hair smells disgusting too," Wanda teases her and Natasha smiles back at her.

"So?"Natasha turns to Fury.

"Same orders," Fury tells her. "Stay put, Romanoff."

"You can't pull me out of this one, Nick."

"I'm not. I'm just asking you to stay put for a while. Rest until we have something solid on that bitch. Do. You. Copy. Romanoff?" Fury asks her, with all seriousness in his face.

"Copy that,"Natasha complies with a smirk.

"The same goes to all of you," Fury nods at Cap and storms out of the room followed by Maria.

"Well, that went well," Natasha jokes.

"No kidding. Better than I anticipated. No flying chairs, no deafening curses, no heated exchange, and most importantly, no shooting. I'd say that Fury's mellowed down a bit," Clint follows up and they all laugh. Then Natasha tries to stand up from her chair. Steve who's right next to her help out.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy to see all of you but I'd like to take a long deserved and needed shower," Natasha says. She turns to Wanda, "Want to help wash my disgusting hair?" Wanda smiles and helps Natasha to the door. She's about to reach for the crutches but stops.

"Don't you dare," Natasha warns her and they move along.


	7. Chapter 7 - Winter and Red

Bucky cannot sleep again. A hundred questions swarm his head, half of them are about Natasha. He remembers how she navigated her emotions earlier as she told her story and can't help but admire how natural she was at masking the truth. She may have cried in front of all of them, but Bucky knows Natasha's more torn and broken that she leads on. He understands her on so many levels, having a similar history of being used and forced to do other people's bidding at the cost of their souls.

_Yes, that must be it. Our similar history makes me feel so connected to her, _Bucky tries to rationalize.

But he's not convinced, remembering the odd encounter they had in the medical bay. He finally sits up, forgoing any thought of sleep. He heads back down to the common area for a midnight snack and he's surprised to see Natasha ducked in the fridge. Bucky stops, undecided whether to stay or go. He looks at Natasha again and hears her grunt behind the fridge door as she goes through the food inside.

_Don't run, _Bucky commands himself. _It's your chance. _He takes a deep breath and slowly steps inside the doorway.

"Hey," he says softly so as not to startle her. Natasha's head pops out of the fridge and seeing it is just Bucky, gives him a smile.

He saw Natasha's smile but he swears he saw something else for a fraction of a second before that smile._ Was that shock? Fear, maybe?_ Bucky shakes the thought off and walks closer to her. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah," Natasha replies, still going over the leftover cartons and containers inside. She opens a take away container and finds several dumplings that still somehow smell okay. She pulls it out, closes the door and goes over the counter. "I didn't exactly get a chance to eat anything the whole day."

Bucky remembers her eating Wanda's cookies that morning but he figures she must have slept all day after that. Clint said she was asleep when they all had dinner. He watches as Natasha picks one dumpling and dumps it straight in her mouth. "How is it?"

"Barely edible,"Natasha manages to mumble despite a full mouth. Natasha offers him the take away container, gesturing him to eat with him and he gladly accepts. He dumps one in his mouth.

"Yeah, you're right, barely," Bucky agrees. They both chuckle. Bucky continues to watch as Natasha limps around the kitchen, getting a bottle of water, other condiments or seasoning to give the dumplings some resemblance of taste. He smiles as she tries each condiment on the dumpling and finds that nothing really works. For a moment, Bucky feels happy, a different kind of happy. But familiar like everything else about Natasha.

"So, how is it going, Barnes?" Natasha asks him after a sip of water. Bucky's a bit surprised not that she initiated a conversation but because how 'Barnes' feel and sound so cold coming from her.

"Everything's fine. Been doing these USO tours with Steve."

"That's good. He finally agreed to do that," Natasha says. "They've been asking him for years, I'm happy he finally opened up to the idea."

"Yeah. He doesn't say it but he likes it, he likes the familiarity of the bases," Bucky continues. _Like the familiarity I have with you._

"How about you? You settled in okay? Found a new hobby, maybe?" Natasha asks and Bucky sees genuine interest in her eyes. He doesn't respond immediately. He just finds himself vexed by her eyes.

"Your eyes are gorgeous green," Bucky says dreamily as he stares at her eyes. Natasha's brow furrow at his remark, obviously surprised, but recovers quickly.

"Thanks! It's usually JUST green but, I'd take gorgeous too," Natasha flirts back with a soft chuckle.

Bucky lowers his head to hide his reddening cheeks. He's not one to shy away from flirtations but there's more to it than just flirtation with her. He's still thinking of something flirty to say back but notices that Natasha's pulled away from the counter and starts to limp towards the door. Bucky takes a deep breath and softly calls her, "Natalia."

Natasha stops on her tracks. Her heart starts to race and her ears to ring. She slowly turns around back to face Bucky.

"Why did you call me that?" Natasha asks. She studies Bucky's face and sees confusion, puzzlement, sadness and something that surprises her, longing.

"Why did you call me James?" Bucky asks back.

"I didn't. I have never -"

"Yes you did," Bucky says. Natasha's sees that he's telling the truth and she suddenly panics.

_Does he remember everything now? _Natasha asks herself.

When Shuri told them that he's good, that he's got his memories back, Natasha remembers panicking because she wasn't sure how her reunion with Bucky, with James, would be. She thought long and hard what her first words would be to her long lost love. But when Bucky casually walked up to her that day, called her Natasha and apologized for shooting her in Odessa, a wave of relief and hurt simultaneously pierced her heart. Bucky did regain most of his memories of his childhood, of Steve, of Brooklyn, of the war, of the years he spent as the Winter Soldier but not those he spent with her in the Red Room. After wallowing on hurt and broken heart that Bucky doesn't know who she really is or was to him, Natasha decided that it probably was for their own good, hers mostly because honestly, she wouldn't know what to do once Bucky knew everything. So she kept quiet and watched from a distance as Bucky, her James, create and live his life in this era without her. She knew Bucky and Steve would be a constant in each other's life and so she gradually decided to step out of Steve's life because she knew it will only bring her pain. And now hearing her name come out of Bucky's lips sends her panicking inside again. Her name would always sound and feel different coming from him. _No, not different. Special, _Natasha reminds herself.

"You did," Bucky continues after seeing Natasha's confused and panicked face. "Back in the med bay that night you woke up all of a sudden and I happened to be the only one there. You saw me and called me James."

_So that wasn't a dream_, Natasha realizes. With a slight relief hearing that he doesn't exactly remember what she fears he remembers, Natasha reinstates the walls around her heart and pushes her emotions to disappear behind it.

"To be fair, I was heavily sedated, Barnes. I didn't know what I was saying," Natasha says playfully but the look on Bucky's face worries her. _He's so confused, sad and obviously not convinced_.

"Maybe. But those other things you said and how you said my name, it was so different, it felt so, I don't know, so familiar how it sounded with your voice", Bucky says, eyes furrowed and down on the floor. Natasha holds her breath again.

Bucky continues, "I know this may sound weird to you but even after I had my memories back, there are times when these feelings would surface and I can't seem to explain why I'm feeling them. Like, I have seen the moon a thousand times but I don't know why I would always be excited and giddy about it, or why I would I have butterflies in my stomach when I see autumn leaves and most importantly how all those random things and feelings would always end up with your face flashed across my mind."

Natasha's feels heart melting away but she keeps the wall up. "I think you have a crush on me, Barnes," Natasha teases him. Bucky welcomes it but Natasha sees he's really bothered by a lot of other things. Good thing he seems to be always ready for a flirting match.

"Is that bad?" Bucky says with a smile that somehow lightens the mood. Natasha shrugs her shoulders with a teasing smile.

"I don't know... maybe not... I mean, I can't blame you if you do," she says with a soft laugh. Bucky laughs back and Natasha takes it as an opportunity to get out of there before things get too complicated. "Well, I need to go back to bed and raise this leg. Good night, Barnes."

Natasha turns her back on him but is taken off guard as an arm sweeps her at her knees and another at her waist. She looks up and Bucky has picked up her, like a groom carrying his bride to their honeymoon.

"What are you doing?" Natasha asks but doesn't exactly protest.

"I'm walking you to your door. I still have that 40s chivalry thing going on in me, you know," Bucky teases her with a smile. "Well, not technically walking but you get it." He laughs louder.

Natasha decides not to contest with him anymore and instead wraps her right arm on his shoulder for support and let him carry her upstairs. She suddenly becomes conscious._ I wish my hair doesn't smell anymore, _Natasha panics.

They finally reach her bedroom door and Bucky carefully sets her down. They stand there, face to face for a few moments then Bucky speaks softly.

"I was hoping you could help me."

"With what exactly?" Natasha replies, with genuine concern in her voice.

"I still feel like I'm missing something and since you've been popping out of my subconscious a lot, I thought maybe you can help me - remember?"

Natasha's panic comes back on and she feels every muscle in her body tense. Her heart racing isn't helping her either. She lowers her eyes, afraid that they will betray her.

"You don't know what you're asking of me," Natasha says softly, surprised at the slight crack in her voice. Bucky notices it. He doesn't know what came over him that he reaches for Natasha's chin with his metal arm and lifts her face up towards him. His heart skip a beat to see Natasha's green eyes glazed with tears.

"Why are you crying? Have I said something wrong?"

Natasha shakes her head. "It's just that, what you're asking me to do, it's not going to be easy for me... for the both of us."

Relief and anxiety spread across Bucky's face. He's relieved to know that he was right, that he wasn't going crazy over nothing but worried at the same time at what he may uncover about himself. Tears finally fall from Natasha's eyes and roll down her cheek. Still with his metal arm, he reaches for her cheek, cups it in his palm and wipes her tear with his thumb.

"You didn't flinch," Bucky says. "Most people seem to jump out of their skin for a second when they feel my metal arm. You didn't."

"Well, you did choke me once with it, remember?" Natasha says playfully.

"Yeah and you should have been more wary about my arm on you, but you're not, because I think you're used to it, to my touch in other ways. And I want to know how or why. Do we share these memories that's why it's hard for you to talk to me about it?"

Natasha can hear the walls around her heart crack. She uses every ounce of will she has in her being to keep it from collapsing. _I can't unravel to him, not now,_ Natasha silently screams at herself. She keeps her eyes on him as she too cups his cheek on her palm. She manages a weak smile.

"Oh, James," Natasha says, softly and sweetly. "I'm scared."

"At what?" Bucky suddenly becomes worried too. It's rare to hear the Black Widow admit fear and those who hear it don't usually hear anything else after that. "At how I would react to these memories?"

"They're not exactly peaches and cream," Natasha warns him. "You're doing good right now and I'm scared to see all of it become undone with these memories you're so intent on getting back. I mean, is your present worth risking for a few memo -"

"Honestly, I don't know. But if we did share them, I don't think they're not as bad as you're trying to make them sound," Bucky chuckles a bit. Natasha chuckles softly too.

"How about this," Bucky says. He holds out his hand in front of Natasha, palms facing up. Natasha looks at him questioningly but puts her own hands in them anyway. Then Bucky holds them gently, stroking the back of her hands with his thumbs. "You don't have to tell me now. I won't pressure you to. Let's rescue those girls first then let's see, we can have breakfast, maybe?"

"Breakfast? Not dinner?" Natasha asks, testing him.

"Normally it would be dinner, but with you, breakfast feels more right," Bucky says and Natasha nods.

"That's true," Natasha replies with a smile. Bucky looks at her with surprise. She winks at him. "That might take a while, though."

"I'm not going anywhere," Bucky winks back before walking away.


	8. Chapter 8 - The Widow's Dance

Almost another month has passed and Natasha's recovering slowly but surely. She's almost got her ideal weight back, the track marks on her arms and feet are now mere scars, and her fractures are already healed. She already got clearance from the doctor to resume her physical training. Steve's been helping her a lot on that front.

"Why him?" Sam asked the day she asked Steve to help her out in the gym. "Any of us can spot for you." Clint earnestly nodded in agreement, Bucky simply smiled.

"That's true," Natasha said with a smirk. "But remember what the doctor said, I have to take it easy for a while and given my insubordinate tendencies, I'll most definitely won't be taking it easy and I'll just kick your asses when you try to stop me." She pointed at Sam and Clint. "And you," she turned to Bucky. "You'd most definitely just let me do whatever I want."

Bucky smiled, "Most probably." They all laughed.

"But this grumps over here," Natasha pointed at Steve. "He'd definitely try to stop me even if it means getting his ass kicked. Not that I can't kick his ass, I just can't bring myself to beat up a 100-year old man." They all laughed.

So every morning, after they all go for a short run around the Facility, Steve and Natasha proceed with their training, Steve adding intensity to it gradually each day. Natasha's glad to be around Steve again, she's never denied that she misses the guy. Their relationship is definitely a special one for her. There's absolutely nothing romantic about it and it's also different from the one she has with Clint. She can't put a label to what they have but Natasha's sure about one thing, Steve has influenced her in unexpected ways that she'd like to believe she's made a better person because him. For someone like her who has a history of wrong doings and wrong decisions, she's grateful to finally have a moral compass in him.

Steve doesn't say it but he's happy that Natasha's asked him to help her train. They're different people, total opposites even, but they somehow found a middle ground where they've formed the foundation of their friendship on. Natasha's an incredibly beautiful woman and he admits he'd been hit by the same curiosity most men have of women like her but she has impressed him too much in more ways than one that he eventually got over that average curiosity and all he has for her is utter respect, and love. Yes, love, but nothing romantic, he's sure of it. His love for her is marked by his trust in her, trust that he can count on her to make the right decisions for the greater good when needed. And one morning he showed her how much he trusts her.

They just finished up their morning training when Steve handed her an envelope. Natasha looked at it with questioning eyes.

"I'd like to return the gesture", Steve said. Natasha opened it and saw Steve's power of attorney, Bucky's signature below and another signature line with her name below it.

"You don't have to," Natasha said.

"I want to," Steve said with a smile then hands her a pen. "Will you?"

Natasha gave him a flirty smile before getting the pen from his hand, "I thought you'd never ask." Steve laughed as Natasha signed the paper, her heart welling up with pride.

After a little while, as Steve cleaned up the gym, he sees Natasha seated on the floor putting on her ballet flats. He walked to her and snatched the flats from her.

"No," he said, looking down on her.

"Why not?! I've been running every morning anyway," Natasha protested.

Steve sat down beside her and shook his head. "That's different. I don't know much about ballet but let's see what your latest x-ray looks like first then we can talk about it with the doc." Natasha pouted and stuck her tongue at him.

"Wow. Very mature," Steve teased her. "But I rather have you like this - teasing me, making fun of me, stealing my clothes, being immature like this - than be out of my sight again."

"Oh, Rogers... we've talked about this, I told you, you can't fall in love me with," Natasha teased him.

"You know what I mean," Steve replied with seriousness in his tone. Natasha saw it and dialed back her naughtiness. "Seeing you helpless like that, then signing those papers made me realize how much I failed you."

"I'm the one who failed, Steve," Natasha said softly, trying to hold back her emotions. "That fact that you're here means I failed."

"Choosing to fight or not is my decision, not yours. Not that I don't appreciate your wish of a peaceful life for me, but Nat, peace is something we work on, not wait for it to instantly happen. You going back out there, that's you working on peace, so parents can sleep in peace at night knowing that their daughters are safe in bed. That's a fight I'd volunteer to be in. You should have known that," Steve said. Natasha smiled at him sheepishly.

"Sorry. I just thought - ," Natasha trailed off and started to cry softly. Steve put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, letting her rest her head on his.

"It's okay. Just promise me, you won't disappear like that again. I'm here, Nat, I'm probably going to be here for another fifty years so you have no choice," Steve joked as he stroked Natasha's hair.

"You're one of the three men in this world who saw me cry and still get to live after, you know that right?" Natasha joked in between her sniffles.

"I know. It's an honor," Steve replied with a smile.

_Three? Barton most definitely. Who's the other one? Fury? Banner? _Steve suddenly thought. But he forgot about it when he felt Natasha wrapped her arms around him for a full embrace.

Natasha's slowly getting bored as she regains her strength because she's still not allowed to do a lot of things. Clint's gone back to the family for a while but she knows he didn't leave without leaving the guys a list of reminders on her.

"She likes to have fun, you know that," Clint said to Sam. "But she cannot go out of the Facility and most importantly, no booze. I'm serious, Wilson."

"You got it, fellow bird-guy", Sam joked but takes the reminder seriously.

"She has a lot going in that head of hers so no messing with it, okay? Unless you want to get kicked for reading her mind then be my guest," Clint said to Wanda. "Try to make her do girly stuff."

"Girly stuff?" Wanda asked, a little bit offended.

"Like I said, a lot going on in her head, so take it easy," Clint warned Bucky. Bucky looked at him confused.

_Wait, does he know?_ Bucky thought.

"I don't like the thought of her staying up at night, sometimes just staring at the moon all by herself. She likes a cup of tea too." Clint finished with a wink.

Bucky was so confused by what Clint said. _Did he just tell me to bring her a cup of tea at night?_ Bucky thought. But then Bucky imagined her, seated with a cup of tea in her hand as the moon bathe her in its soft, silky light. _Moonlight, _Bucky thought and he felt it again, that familiar sense of peace.

"And, Cap," Clint turned to Steve. "You know what to do. You always do. I'm no match to her stubbornness but you are. I don't know where you get your patience so -"

"I know what you mean," Steve assured Clint and they shook hand. Clint gave them a last goodbye wave and headed for the door.

"Wait, what do you mean girly stuff?" Wanda yelled at Clint's retreating figure.

Now it's been a few days since Clint left and Natasha can't take it anymore. She thought of joining the others for breakfast but her will to go to the gym to counter boredom in the best way she knows she can, was stronger than any cup of coffee. She gets out of bed, gets properly dressed, and goes to the gym.

Wanda emerges from her bedroom door. She hears the elevator opens. She tries to catch it before it closes. She almost does but before the elevator doors totally closed Wanda manages to catch a glimpse of Natasha and her getup. Wanda's eyes widen and hurriedly run down the stairs to the common room where Steve, Sam and Bucky are all having breakfast.

Wanda comes rushing in, her cheeks flushed for running and a huge smile on her face.

"Come on! You have to see this!" she shouts at three before running away again.

Steve, Sam and Bucky look at each other at first wondering what the heck is going. Sam's the first to put his toast down and runs after Wanda. Steve and Bucky follow his lead. They catch up with Wanda and realize they're in the gym's locker room. Across the row of lockers is a one-way glass mirror overlooking the training room.

"She's finally doing it!" Wanda says softly but filled with excitement.

"What?" Sam asks. Wanda gestures him to shut up.

They all watch as Natasha finally stands up in the middle of the training room. She's in a black tank top neatly tucked in a matching long black tights, flowy short skirt and pointe shoes. They all gasp for a second.

Steve struggles for a bit if he's going to stop her, afraid that she might strain her fractures but after seeing the excited look on the others' faces he settles down. _Besides, I haven't seen her dance for a while. _Steve relaxes.

So they all hold their ground and breath as Natasha starts her choreography. She starts slow, with a string of basic steps. But after she makes a tour en l'air she stops and flexes her foot.

"It's okay, take it slow," Steve whispers softly, not taking his eyes off Natasha. He doesn't notice but the three turn to look at him with surprise.

Natasha resumes her choreography and they all continue to watch, captivated by Natasha's grace on her pointe shoes. She goes down a few more times, stops in a middle of it due to minor pain but she pushes on, executing her movements in such perfection that would put any soloist with healthy toes to shame. Natasha makes a decent jete.

"Nice height! That's a jete, if I remember it right," Steve whispers and the three turn to look at him again with surprise on their face.

"Nice height?" Sam whispers at his left.

"Jete?" Bucky asks at his right.

"Yeah, you saw it. It's not a grand jete but -," Steve tries to explain but seeing all the amusement on their faces he stops and chuckles softly. "It's not the first time I've seen her dance, you know." Steve is about to follow it up with the story how he'd help Natasha with some partnering steps but Wanda cuts him off.

"Well, it's the first for me," Wanda says with a huge smile as she looks at Natasha again.

"Mine too", Sam adds.

"Mine too, I think", Bucky also says, without removing his eyes from the redhead ballerina. It's true, he's not sure. Because if there's anything that he's learned from the past month, it's that when it comes to Natas,a there's nothing he can be sure of until they have their talk. Steve, Sam and Wanda look at him and see the huge boyish grin on his face.

"Be careful, Barnes. If you keep looking at Romanoff like that we'd think you have a crush on her," Sam teases.

"He's right, Buck. I know that look on you. I've seen that countless times before," Steve adds.

Bucky feels his cheeks burn. "Shut up, Steve," he says and tries to hide his blush.

The three only smile at him. They look at Natasha again as she positions herself at the left side of the floor. Sam, Bucky and Wanda notices how Steve suddenly holds his breath and braces himself. They take it as a cue that Natasha's going to try to finish her routine big. And there, Natasha does a nice series of pique turns and finishes with a la seconde turns.

"Why is she not stopping? How many turns does she need -," Wanda remarks as they watch Natasha continue to make her turns. She turns to Steve for answer. "Wait, are you counting?"

They all turn to see Steve, whose eyes are locked on Natasha and is indeed counting. He raises a hand to shush Wanda up. They continue to watch as Natasha makes a few more turns then ends with a beautiful arabesque.

"Ahh... Almost," Steve sighs then walks out of their hiding place and into the training room, clapping his hands. The three follow his lead, clapping their hands too.

Natasha turns around to see the four of them coming out of the locker rooms. She's surprised at first and is about to call them out for hiding but Wanda runs to her and gives her a big huge. "That was amazing!"

"You were amazing", Bucky says with a huge smile on his face. Natasha winks at him.

"Nice - am- jete," Sam quips, surprising everyone. Steve looks at him with disbelief.

"Really, Wilson? Jete?" Bucky asks him. "I bet you haven't heard of that word until Steve said it earlier." Sam shrugs and Steve only smiles.

"28," Steve tells Natasha.

"What's my record?"

"32," Steve replies. Natasha pouts in dismay. Steve gives her a hug. "It's okay. To be fair you're still healing."

Natasha only smiles and returns his hug. Wanda's so happy that she hugs the two, then Sam and Bucky follow. At that moment, with the five of them balled into one big group hug, Natasha feels so happy. She realizes how lonely she's been the past year and it was mostly her fault because here are people who undeniably cares for her but she pushed them away.

_Never again,_ she promises herself.

"How nice. But sorry to break the fun, guys", Maria's voice echoes in the training room. They break from their group hug and sees her standing by the doorway. "Briefing in 20. Fury's on his way." She nods at them before walking off.

"What a buzzkill," Sam frowns.

"I'll see you in a bit," Natasha says and starts to exit the room, Wanda by her side.

"Can you teach me?"

"Sure, but you have to accept as early as now," Natasha teases her and Wanda waits for her to continue. "That you'll never be as good as me." They both laugh and disappear in the hallway.

"Any other ballet moves you wanna share, Cap?" Sam teases Steve. Steve sighs but accepts the challenge.

"Yeah, Wilson. I actually do. Mock me all you want but you have to admit, me knowing ballet gives me more advantage than you two," Steve taunts them as he heads for the door.

"And how's that?" Sam asks.

"Romanoff's more likely to dance with him than us, bird brain," Bucky chuckles and follows Steve out of the room.

"Oh, shit," Sam realizes and follows the two.

_Author's Note: __In my head, I imagine that in the past, in between missions, when Natasha is too bored, she would ask Steve to help her with some partnering routines in ballet. At first Steve didn't want to, because it reminded him of 'dance' with Peggy. But overtime, he warmed up to the idea and found it therapeutic too. Dancing with Natasha's nice but Steve feels it won't be as special as his dance Peggy would have been.*_


	9. Chapter 9 - Knife or Hammer?

They're all gathered in the situation room, which tells Wanda that something's up, that it's not a normal briefing. Natasha's all showered and refreshed. They dropped by the kitchen to grab some sort of breakfast and so they both have toasts and eggs with them. She has an orange juice, Natasha has her coffee. They get comfy as they sit on either side of Steve.

Bucky watches as Natasha sits down, munches her toast and puts down her coffee between her and Steve. Her hair still a bit wet, she's wearing an ordinary t-shirt and jeans. He must have been staring longer than he intended to because Natasha turns to him with her trademark flirty smile. "Want some toast, Barnes?"

Bucky silently panics and just shakes his head in response. He looks to his side and sees Sam trying to hide his smile. He kicks him underneath the table but Sam's smile turns into a soft laughter. Natasha too tries to hide her smile and simply pretends that she didn't notice so she goes on to read something from her phone.

Bucky sees Steve, who's browsing documents on a folder, notices the commotion and looks up to see what's going on. Sam and Wanda immediately cover their face with their hands and struggle to keep their giggles. Then Steve turns to Natasha who beautifully pretends to be oblivious to what's happening and concentrates on her phone while sipping her coffee at the same time. So when Steve turns to Bucky for answers, all the latter can do is smile a bit embarrassed and shrug his shoulders. Bucky only releases a sigh of relief when he sees Steve goes back reading.

But then he suddenly feels something weird in his stomach as he sees Steve casually picks up Natasha's cup and takes a sip. Bucky looks at Natasha expecting her to punch Steve in the face, but no, she doesn't react at all. Before he can process the weird knot in his stomach, Fury and Maria enter the room.

"All right, kids, here's what we know," Fury goes straight to business.

"Good morning to you too, boss," Natasha greets him with a sly grin.

"And they're technically waaaay older than you," Sam jokes while pointing to Steve and Bucky.

Fury only responds to their light mood with a curt nod. He brings out his tablet and soon the monitors on the walls flicker with surveillance photos. Some show one of the Big Boss Company leaders leaving a hotel and getting in a limo.

"When's this?" Natasha asks. Maria looks at Fury uncomfortably before replying.

"One and a half weeks ago," Maria responds.

Natasha shakes her head with a disappointed grin. It's Steve who speaks her mind, "And you waited until now to tell us this?"

"It was my decision, Cap. At least, if Romanoff here decides to disobey orders again, she has healed feet to run with," Fury says sarcastically.

"He's not wrong," Natasha says with a soft laugh.

Maria decides to continue the discussion and sends up on the monitor a series of other photos - the limo parked inside a compound, the mafia boss getting out of the limo and entering a huge wooden door, and a landscape shot that shows the whole premises - a luxurious chateau in the center of the compound with a manicured courtyard boarded by high brick walls in four sides.

"That's so French," Wanda comments.

"He goes inside, stays there for an hour or two, then comes back out to leave the same way he entered," Maria finishes.

"No sighting of other persons of interest?" Sam asks, carefully choosing his words. He didn't want to use the word 'bitch' nor utter Anya's name.

"No," Fury quickly responds. "So no concrete evidence that the girls are there."

"They're there," Natasha says, grabbing her own tablet and starts punching the keypad.

"Romanoff," Fury starts but he stops as he sees the photos Natasha lines up on the monitor. They all see the mansions Anya's turned into her base of operations in Iceland and Austria.

"Anya's re-creating something from her past, hoping she'd turn things to her favor. She's never known anything else, no other structure or idea of life other than the one she had at the burned down boarding house, the asylum, and the - Red Room."

They see an old photo of the original Red Room Academy pops up beside the Iceland and Austria photos. They're not exactly the same but Wanda notices the same vibe each of the mansion exudes. No one speaks for a moment, a sign that they all understand and agree with Natasha. Fury eyes Natasha, thinking of the right things to say. But she surprises him.

"We don't make a move yet," Natasha says, holding her cup of coffee. "Like you said, no concrete evidence that Anya's there. It's the first move the Company made to make contact with her, let's not spook them. Let them create their new normal, in that way we can make a more effective plan of action."

Still, no one speaks for a moment. Natasha notices Steve looking at her, his eyes asking if she is sure. She smiles at him and nods a little. Steve turns to Fury and Maria.

"Continue recon and let's see if we can have a peek inside without physical infiltration," Steve orders.

Wanda watch as Fury and Maria simply nod while Bucky and Sam almost stood up in attention as their superior officer bark his orders and Natasha simply sits there, casually chewing her toast and eggs. When she was on the run with them after the Accords fell, Wanda was able to witness the fascinating dynamic of Steve and Natasha's relationship, especially how much they trust each other. Natasha's not an easy person to trust because of her history but if Natasha says jumping off the building is the only escape out of a tight situation, Steve wouldn't hesitate to jump. Same with Natasha. Despite her past experiences with people putting her in compromising positions for the sake of a mission, she has learned how to trust Steve's decisions, not question his motives because she knows it would always be for everyone's good. And if everything fails, she could always rely on Steve to save everyone, or at least die trying to.Wanda snaps out of her thoughts as Fury and Maria take their leave and everyone else starts to get up from their chairs.

"You might wanna have your ankles checked," Steve tells Natasha. "You had a few bad landings earlier."

"What makes you say they were bad?" Wanda asks.

"He's right," Natasha agrees with Steve, flexing her ankles. She notices that Sam, Bucky and Wanda are teasing Steve with their looks. "Back off him, guys. I taught him a few moves. He's a good partner. And, he's already comfortable in tights."

"Romanoff," Steve says in frustration but they all laugh.

Natasha heads to the door and notices that Steve's following him. "Sorry, I made a promise to Barton. I have to keep an eye on you."

"What?!"Natasha protests. "I'm going to kill that guy. I know the way to the infirmary, Rogers." Natasha continues to walk but Steve continues to follow her.

Sam, Bucky and Wanda watch the two talk and walk out of the room and towards the elevator, their conversation echoing through the hallway and bouncing back in the room. They listen as the two continue to bicker.

"Well, you're not exactly an obedient child so I have to make sure you do as you're told," Steve teases her.

"I'm not a child anymore, Rogers!" Natasha says a bit louder and a bit irritated. "Although, relative to your age, I guess I'm technically still a child, Wanda's a toddler and Parker's a baby."

They hear Steve laugh. "Fine. Hey, where's my hoodie? Is it finally in the wash?"

"You mean MY hoodie. And no. It's too soiled. You have a new one I can borrow?" Natasha quips back.

"Borrow? Really?"Steve raises an eyebrow on her.

"Yeah, like indefinitely."

Wanda cannot see Natasha's face but she is sure a naughty grin is splashed on her face.

"I know what to get you on your birthday," Steve says, trace of triumph in his voice.

"I need a new swimsuit," Natasha teases.

Back in the sit-room, Wanda and Sam's are still laughing at Steve and Natasha's bickering.

"Honestly, can you imagine those two with kids?" Wanda remarks in between her laughter. Bucky suddenly feels the same knot in his stomach again. _Steve and Natasha. With kids. _Bucky pictures it his head and the knot tightens.

"Wanda," Sam says softly.

Bucky looks at him and sees the seriousness and sadness in his face. He turns to Wanda and he watches as realization spreads on hers. She covers her mouth and muffles an apology. Sam just shrugs his shoulder before he and Wanda head for the door.

_What did just happen? _Bucky asks himself. _Do they know something about Natalia and me? Like Clint?_

The exchange Bucky saw between Wanda and Sam continues to bother him. He tried pushing it away from his mind, thinking that understanding the weird streak of jealousy he has at Steve's closeness to Natasha is much more important. Yes, he finally identified what that knot in his stomach was, he was a bit jealous of Steve. And that's what he doesn't understand with himself. Steve's his best mate and he's worked so hard to land him a girl ever since they were young men so why is he bothered to finally see Steve get comfortable with a woman.

_Because she's not any other woman, isn't she? _Bucky's inner voice interjects. Natasha has a special connection to him, that he knows, but to what extent and what kind that is, he's yet to know. So he's a bit angry at himself for feeling this way towards Steve because Steve definitely doesn't deserve it, not from him.

Bucky finds Steve in an isolated corner of the Facility. He knows that with everything that's going, he should be the last thing Steve needs to worry about but he's been keeping things bottled up for so long that it's already eating it from the inside. He also knows that Steve would rather have him talk about it than not at all because that's Steve, he worries about everyone he cares about and he will beat himself up if something goes wrong with any of them, just like what happened to Natasha.

"Hey, man," Bucky says softly. Steve looks up and smiles. Bucky doesn't wait for an invitation as he sits himself across Steve. He sees Steve's sketching the treeline from across the Facility.

"Hey, Buck," Steve greets him and goes back to his drawing. "Couldn't sleep? Having nightmares again?"

"No, no nightmares," Bucky replies with a reassuring smile. "But I would like to talk to you about something, though. If it's alright?"

Steve looks at him and immediately puts his sketchbook down. He leans back on his chair and gives Bucky his full attention. "You know you don't even need to ask, right?" he says with a smile.

Bucky starts wringing his fingers and he knows he looks nervous. He hesitates for a while, giving Steve a nervous smile but goes on. "It's about Romanoff."

"So, Sam's right, then? You have a crush on Romanoff. Can't blame you, pal," Steve chuckles. "I've never seen you this nervous about a girl before though, and it's quiet refreshing to see, if I'm being honest."

"It's more than that, Steve," Bucky says.

Steve's eyes widen with amusement. "Wait, don't tell me... you're in love with -"

"No, no," Bucky cuts him off. "I - don't know, really."

Steve's amusement disappears and is replaced with concern and question. The last time he saw Bucky this confused was, well, when his memories weren't sorted out yet.

"What's going?" Steve asks.

"I'm still missing a few, Steve," Bucky explains, his voice soft.

"What, memories? You and the princess sorted it out, right? You remember everything -"

"Yeah, well that's the tricky part. I think I thought I remembered everything because I remembered all those that I want to remember that time. Really, how can you say you remember everything when you don't even know the things you're supposed to remember?" Bucky tries to explain, his voice a bit agitated.

"Calm down, pal," Steve says. "Yeah, I get what you're saying. So what makes you think there's something else you're missing?"

"Natalia," Bucky doesn't hesitate. "I didn't tell you but for these past years, just hearing her name makes me feel weird, makes me think of her. And that was confusing because I've never really made any connection with her, right? After the accords, after Wakanda, we really didn't get a chance to connect, so why am I always drawn to her? For god's sake I even tried to kill her more than once!"

"You've always had a weakness for red heads," Steve teases him. But Bucky remains serious.

"I'm right, though," Bucky says. "I talked to her about it."

"Really? What did she say?"

Bucky takes a deep breath before replying, "She said I'm not going crazy."

It's now Steve's turn to take a deep breath. He's known Natasha enough to not be surprised anymore if her secrets have secrets. But they've gone through so much together that Natasha has never given him any reason to doubt her, even now, at this moment, after learning that she has kept things from him about his best friend.

"Look, don't be mad at her," Bucky pleads at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I know she's special to you, you can't deny it. You two, you're good together, Steve, and judging by the look on your face, I can tell that this somehow breaks your heart because she kept it a secret from you, of all people. But you have to understand, I think these memories are difficult for her to deal with so she decided not to deal with it. If you're going to be mad at someone, you should be mad at me. She's been at peace with it and I dragged her back into it because I asked her, I wanted to know," Bucky explains. He keeps his eyes down and he's back to wringing his fingers.

Steve doesn't speak for a while. He looks at Bucky who looks like a mess right now, his heart on his sleeve. He looks at the treeline he was sketching a while ago. The wind softly rustles them, creating that distant yet comforting sounds of leaves dancing with each other.

"So, she's told you?" Steve finally asks.

"No," Bucky says. He finally looks at Steve. "She almost unraveled like a little girl in front me when I opened up the conversation. I don't want to push her to the edge, you know, especially not now that we have this Anya thing to deal with. So we agreed, we rescue the girls then we'll talk."

Steve smiles and nods a little.

Bucky continues, "Steve, don't tell her I talked to you about it. You know her better than I do, but I think she's the type who'd like to keep a strong front -"

"Yeah, she doesn't like people seeing her vulnerable side, unless you've earned the right or she's going to kill you anyway," Steve says with a grin.

"You've most definitely earned that right," Bucky says with a proud smile.

"It wasn't easy to get," Steve replies with pride.

A week passes by and things seem to be normal. Steve has kept his promise to Bucky to not make things weird with Natasha and Natasha made things easy for him too, by not making things complicated between them, thereby eliminating awkwardness whenever they're in the same room. If there's someone who's making Bucky's ears red and cheeks burn, that would be Sam and Wanda. The more he tells them to quit giving him and Natasha the teasing looks, the more Sam became relentless.

"Oh, no, man," Sam said when Bucky asked him to stop. "I won't let this one go." Bucky sighed as Sam walked away with a triumphant smile. Bucky's really grateful that Natasha's not making a big deal about it, at least she's not showing any sign that's she's bothered by it. She's good and amazing like that.

Then things take a turn when Fury and Maria arrive with bad news. They're in the sit-room again and Maria puts up two photos on the screen - corpses of two little girls. Tears instantly well up in Wanda's eyes, Bucky and Sam look away, Steve lowers his eyes but Natasha keeps her eyes on the screen. The girls were too dirty, their hair matted with mud and dirt._ At least their still clothed,_ Natasha tries to find consolation on a small thing.

"Emilia Stanford and Maya Lopez, both aged 6," Maria continues her report, swallowing the lump on her throat as she holds back her own tears.

"Cause of death?" Steve finally asks.

"Bullet to the head," Maria answers. "Estimated time of death is 5 days for Emilia and 2 or 3 days for Maya. They were both found floating on the river 5 miles south of the mansion."

"Bullet to the head. At least it's a quick death," Bucky says sadly.

"Maybe. I don't know. We found this on their bodies," Maria says and taps on the photos to zoom in on their abdomens, near the navel. Natasha makes a very audible gasp that startle everyone. They examine the photo and realize why. Both girls have small but precise surgical incision on their abdomens. "The coroner confirmed the operation is recent, probably 5 to 7 days prior to death", Maria ends her report.

Anger wells up in Natasha that she doesn't notice her fist clenching tightly into ball, her own fingers digging into her palms.

"I thought they don't it until you graduate," Wanda asks Natasha. "I don't even think it's possible to do it at that age."

Steve reaches for Natasha's shoulder to calm her down. She feels it and is grateful for it but she's too enraged to be comforted by anything in the world.

_I'm going to kill that bitch_, Natasha promises herself.

Steve continues trying to calm her down. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep breath. When she finally opens it she looks at Fury. "Anya's program is falling apart, she's being careless disposing those bodies just like that. She's grasping at straws." Fury nods in agreement.

"What do you want to do now?" Fury asks her.

Natasha looks at Steve. "If we don't make a move now, there won't be girls to rescue anymore."

Steve agrees with her. "We have to all agree first that this is a rescue mission. Getting those girls out is our topmost priority," Steve says outright and waits for Natasha to agree. Natasha looks at him for a few seconds and Steve holds his ground, anticipating her to object.

"Copy that," Natasha finally agrees. "But once I get a chance at Anya I - "

"I won't stop you," Steve promises. Natasha thanks him with a smile.

"So what's the plan, Cap?" Sam asks. "Do we go in as a knife or as a hammer?"

Steve squares his shoulders. "Both."


	10. Chapter 10 - Hesitate and You Die

And so they go in, the knife team composing of Clint, Sam, Bucky and Wanda, sneak into the mansion from the river at the back to retrieve the girls while the hammer team of Steve and Natasha draw out Anya's little army by kicking their way in through the front door.

"There's only two of them," one of the guards says arrogantly at the sight of Steve and Natasha making their way through the courtyard.

"Idiot!" another guard remarks. "That's Captain America, he's worth ten fighting men and that's Black Widow and she's not just a woman."

And so Steve and Natasha fight their way through the guards and into the mansion where they find Anya standing at the top of the staircase, waiting for them with her creepy curly smile. She's wearing her blue coat that seemed to mesmerize Natasha before.

"Hello, sister. Nice of you to bring a friend."

Natasha doesn't respond. She's too angry to play Anya's game.

"We're here for the girls. Let them go," Steve demands.

"Why bother, Captain? This is their home," Anya mockingly replies.

"No, it's not!" Natasha yells and runs up the stairs to Anya.

Steve looks puzzled as Anya doesn't show any intention of running away from Natasha. Instead, she opens her arms, welcoming Natasha's fury. He's about to warn Natasha when a hoard of guards come attacking him all at the same time, some firing their guns, some flinging their fists at him.

Natasha goes for Anya, tackling her down on the floor. Anya falls backwards as Natasha stands looming over her. "Stop this, Anya. Just let us take them and I'll leave you alone."

Instead of responding with another of her menacing sass, Anya stands up and lunges at Natasha with a blade in her hand. Natasha deflects it and throws a punch that sends Anya back pedaling against a wall. "You know you're no match to me," Natasha warns her.

"I know. But he is," Anya replies with a smile.

Natasha's brow furrowed as a big black shadow loom over both her and Anya. Anya runs out of the way as Natasha turns around to see a huge man tower over her. The man grabs her by the neck, choking her. Natasha tries to pry his grip from her neck but he's way too strong that he manages to lift her a couple of inches from the floor.

Steve sees Natasha and the man but he can't do anything because he's still dealing with five to six men at the same time, not to mention there are at least a dozen more surrounding him, waiting for their turn.

Natasha's lungs are screaming underneath her ribs as the man's humongous fingers cut out her air supply. Pooling her strength down on her legs, she kicks the giant man hard on the balls and the moment he leans over in pain, Natasha throws her knees at his chin, giving him some sort of an uppercut. Natasha feels his grip loosen and she immediately gulps for air. He comes for her again but this time, Natasha's prepared and she unleashes the Black Widow on him.

Bucky watches with fascination as the two guards standing by the chain-link fence bordering the mansion from the river, obediently open the back gate to let them in. He turns to his side and sees Wanda doing her magic. As soon as they step in on the other side of the fence, he and Clint knock the two guards down unconscious and tie them to a post. They crouch as they walk across the backyard, from the fence towards the back door, ducking and hiding behind anything they can find to avoid the cameras. They wait for a few minutes until they hear gunshots from the other side of the mansion.

"That's it, that's our cue. They're in," Clint signals them and they all enter the back door. Once inside, they lie low for a bit as guards pass by near them. They retreat back into the shadows until the guards are gone. Bucky looks around and Sam senses his anxiety as rounds of gunshots continue echo in the other side of the mansion.

"They're fine, Barnes," Sam says with optimism. "They're amazing fighters, and even amazing when they fight together." Bucky releases a small grateful smile. He and Sam bicker most of the time but deep inside, they both like each other. They're just too proud to admit it and too busy with their pissing contest on who's supposed to Steve's best friend now.

"Let's go," Clint says and they follow him across three other rooms until they reach the kitchen and see an access stairwell. Clint memorized the mansion's blueprint so he knows that it leads to the second floor where Natasha said the girls' bedrooms would be. They hear several guards from the next room running and shouting, "They're trying to escape! Secure the students. Don't let them get away." They don't waste any time and run up the stairwell.

They reach the second floor and can hear guards from inside the bedrooms shouting at the girls. The guards sound frustrated because they can't make the girls obey. Some are already crying hysterically. The lookouts outside the bedrooms see Clint's team and they go into a fight. Clint, Bucky and Sam engage the guards as other muffled commotion can be heard on the third floor - men shouting, screaming and gunshots.

_Get the girls first,_ Wanda remembers Steve's orders. She goes to one room, fights the guard with the keys and frees two girls from their handcuffs. Once she successfully frees the two girls, she instructs them to follow her. But when they exit the first bedroom, one guard comes chasing them. Wanda throws the keys to the one of the girls with brown eyes.

"Go!" she shouts. The girls nod at her and disappear in the next room. Wanda then turns to deals with the guard.

Wanda watches with the corner of her eyes as the girls emerge from their rooms one by one. She's now dealing with three more guards. When the girl with the brown eyes gives her the thumbs up, she finally concentrates on the guards she's fighting. But she watches in horror as two guards run past Bucky and Clint and all the way to the end of the hallway where the girls are waiting. She tries calling for help but all three guys have their hands full. Since she's a bit distracted, one of the guard's fist connects with her jaw and she loses balance. The guard's about to kick her in the face but she stops him with her magic. She's so angry right now that she choked the guard in two seconds. When the guard falls, she immediately turns to the girls but she's surprised at what she sees - the girls are ganging up on the two guards, all 24 of them, kicking them, pulling their hair, biting their arms. Wanda can't help but smile.

"Move back!" Wanda hears Bucky shout. The girls immediately let the two guards go and Bucky fires. The guards fall limp. Wanda turns around and see all of the guards either dead or unconscious on the floor. She notices Bucky aim his gun towards the stairs where two unarmed men come running down. They raise their hands the moment they see Bucky's gun.

"Don't shoot," one of the men pleads. Bucky lowers his gun, recognizing them as the Physicist and Hacker taken as hostage too.

"Where are the others?" Clint asks.

"They're dead," the Hacker replies.

Clint takes a deep breath and nods at them. He then turns to Bucky, "Go to Steve and Nat. The transporter is already in position in the river. We got this." Bucky nods and runs.

"Alright. Let's go!" Clint says to the girls, with a soft smile on his face. They waste no time as they usher the girls and teachers down the access stairwell and into the back door where they see a transporter lifts off its cloaking device and reveals itself floating on the river.

"There's our ride," Wanda tells them and they all give her the first truest smiles they ever had for more almost a year.

When Bucky reaches the foyer, the first thing he sees is Steve against a dozen guards. A guard sneaks behind Steve and whacks him with this rifle. Steve falls on one knee and that's when Bucky raises his gun and fires.

One. Two. Three.

Three guards fall down. Two guards see him and start firing at his direction, leaving Steve with the rest of their team. Bucky uses his metal arm to shield the bullets as he hides behind something. He waits for the guards to run out bullets and when they do, Bucky goes out of hiding and pulls his trigger.

Four. Five.

The two guards fall and he runs to help Steve.

"Natasha! Go to Natasha!" Steve shouts at him.

Bucky turns around and sees her on the second floor balcony near the staircase. A huge man grabs her by the hair and flings her across the hallway. Bucky tries firing his gun but he's out of bullets too. So he runs up to the balcony and gives the man a massive smack on the head with his metal arm. The man falls down and Bucky takes the chance to get to Natasha. She's already bleeding and when he grabs her at the waist to pull her up she yelps in pain. "Broken rib?" Bucky asks.

Natasha shakes her head and tries to shout, "Watch out!"

Good thing Bucky notices the man's incoming fist. He blocks it with his metal arm as he catches the man's other punch with his flesh hand. The man's heavy, way heavier than he estimated but he pushes, he pushes with all his might until he hears the man's back crash against the wall. But the man manages a counter attack by kicking him in the stomach. Bucky falls backward and the man starts to come for him again.

He's surprised as Natasha runs straight to the man then steps on the man's own knees and arms to hoist herself up and sit on the man's shoulder. She gives the man succeeding blows to head and tightens her thighs' grip on her neck as the man trashes around in attempt of throwing her off. Bucky retrieves his knife and throws it to Natasha. Natasha catches it mid air and plunges it on the man's chest without hesitation. The man stops moving, he wobbles at first then falls on his knees before finally falling on his face allowing Natasha to land gracefully on her feet. Bucky runs to catch her.

"I got you," he says and instinctively grabs her by the waist. She yelps in pain again but before she can explain her bruises, Bucky hears someone else.

"You do get everything you want, don't you?" Anya says in a voice with anger and envy. "You get to be the Widow and I see you even got your soldier back."

Bucky looks at Anya._ She knows_, he panics. _She knows about - us_.

Anya meets Bucky's eyes and notices that they're blue. She smiles even wider. "Of course, why didn't I realize it before. You really like my coat because it's blue, like his eyes."

Natasha turns around to face Anya but instead of shutting up, Anya provokes her even more. "You were so good... so good at hiding it that it took a while before everyone knew what was going between you two."

"Shut up", Natasha warns Anya and releases herself from Bucky's support. She slowly walks to Anya. Bucky on the other hand is frozen in place, holding his breath as Anya continues to blabber.

"I remember, you used to pass by outside my window to reach hers then I would watch as she lets you in", Anya continues especially after seeing the confusion on Bucky's face. "Everyone just loved you didn't they, Natalia? The teachers, HIM, my OWN mother!" And before she can reveal anything else Natasha slaps her so hard that her other cheek hits the wall. Then Natasha's breath is on her face.

"No, she did not," Natasha tells her. Anya's surprised at her calm voice. "She loved you. You're her blood."

"You lie," Anya says, grinding her teeth. She looks into Natasha's eyes and sees the unwavering truth in them. "You lie," she says again but this time her voice is softer, lacking the conviction she had earlier. Natasha slowly shakes her head. By this time Steve's done with the guards and he's standing on guard at the foot of the staircase, listening.

"Why do you think your mother kept you locked in your room most of the time? Why do you think she sent you away?" Natasha challenges Anya to realize the truth. "That's because she didn't want THIS for you. She knew she could never leave that place and the only way to keep you away from that hell is by letting you go. You think she didn't get punished for what she did? It was her life for yours. If the Black Widow program failed, they would kill her and then no one will be left to protect you. So she pushed us, she pushed me. She was relentless, she didn't stop until she broke me into exactly what they wanted me to be. Your mother loved you so much that she didn't care what would happen to me."

"Is that why you killed her?" Anya asks, tears now forming in her eyes.

Bucky realizes for the first time that Anya's as broken as Natasha. She's a victim too.

"Because she deserved to die and she knew that. Nothing will ever justify ruining twenty-eight lives, Anya. But she didn't regret anything, because it was all for you. So she survived everything so she could, lived long enough for me to finally find her and knock on her door. The moment she disobeyed orders for your sake was the moment she accepted that she'd die by the hands of the monster she helped create," Natasha continues to explain.

She wants to make Anya realize that it wasn't Natasha's fault why Anya's own mother denied her of the things she wanted and also teach her remorse for the things she's done.

"You ungrateful child. You couldn't see what your mother had to sacrifice for you because you were too blinded hating me!" Natasha almost screams at her. "You know what her last words were?" Anya shakes her head. "She called out for you over and over again, until your name was the last thing I heard before I put a bullet in her head."

And Anya finally cries. Bucky looks at Natasha and is surprised that she too is crying. He didn't notice it earlier because her voice was so cold and savage. He understands her and where she's coming from because in a way, Anya is part of the reason why Natasha had to fight for her life when she was young. If she didn't succeed into becoming the Widow she would have ended up in a ditch like the other 27 girls in her class who failed. Natasha had only two options then, die or become the Black Widow.

"You realize that I'm fighting every muscle in my body from strangling you right here, right now," Natasha continues.

"You're hesitating,"Anya agrees.

"You and I are the same, Anya. We've done a lot shit. The only difference between you and I is that conscience finally caught up with me and when it did, someone hesitated from drawing an arrow between my eyes. So I'm hesitating right now, hoping just in time before you're too far gone."

"Why?" Anya asks. "Like you said before, I screwed up that chance my mother gave me before. What makes you think I won't screw up again?"

Natasha shrugs her shoulder, "I'm not giving you a chance. I'm giving you a choice."

Anya looks at her with confusion on her face.

"You can choose the hard way, live, face the consequences, atone and be better so your mother's sacrifice wasn't in vain or, you can choose the easy way."

Bucky watches as Natasha pulls out her reserved gun, removes the magazine but leaving one round in the chamber, and places it on the floor in front of Anya. "Die and be remembered as a monster."

Anya's eyes widen in fear at Natasha's last words. She looks at the gun, then to Natasha with pleading eyes. Natasha keeps her ground but Bucky's sure her heart is shattering in pieces right now for Anya.

"Don't look at me. It's up to you." Natasha looks at Anya one last time, one that doesn't have hate in it anymore but rather, with empathy.

She stands up, and slowly walks towards the staircase. Bucky meets her halfway and supports her with his metal arm. She's clutching her sides now and wincing in pain. Bucky is about to sweep her in his arms but Natasha shakes her head.

"I want to walk, James."

And so Bucky lets her lean on him, almost all of her weight against him, as he leads her down to the staircase where Steve is waiting for them. He greets them with a nod, signaling them that they've done what they came in to do. Natasha gives him a weak smile and they all head for the main door. As Natasha walks away from Anya, she hears her cry loud at first which turn into hysteric hyperventilation then gradually quiets down into childish sobs. They are already out of the main door and on the steps when a gunshot echoes from inside. Bucky and Steve glance at Natasha and see her cry silently.

_Author's Note:__I think we can all agree that Black Widow's Red Room history is super rich. It's one of the best story lines in the comic books and it's just enticing to delve into it and inspiring to explore all the mystery and possibilities inside the Red Room.*_


	11. Chapter 11 - Breakfast Talk

It's already morning when they arrive back at the Facility. The medical staff is already there waiting for them and they immediately tend to the girls and the teachers the moment they stepped out of the transporter. There are also representatives from the federal government to secure statements and evidence. Steve and Clint help Maria sort things out with the Feds while Sam and Wanda help the girls get comfortable. They just got out of a horrible place and are immediately transferred into an unfamiliar one with strangers surrounding them. The least they can do is put them at ease that this time, it's going to be different, that they're in good hands. The girls take Wanda's word and they all easily warm up to Sam.

Bucky on the other hand hangs back again. Not that he doesn't want to help but right now all he's thinking of is Natasha, who after disembarking from the quinjet just gave Maria a curt nod before letting the doctor take her to the med bay. He didn't have the courage to talk to her in the quinjet on their way back to Facility because he didn't know exactly what to say, especially after what he heard Anya say. _Everyone loved you. Him, my own mother,_ Bucky remembers Anya's words. _Him. He loved her._

He doesn't notice it but he's fidgeting. He keeps glancing at the door where Natasha and doctor disappeared to a while ago. He looks around again and seeing that everything's under control, he finally gives in and follows Natasha to the med bay. When he reaches the med bay, he sees Natasha already getting out of the bed. The nurses are just stashing the x-ray away and the doctor is writing down her notes.

"Nothing to worry about, Agent Romanoff," the doctor assures her. "No new fractures, your bruises will heal in a few weeks. Even your head wound is not something to be worried about. Just three stitches, nothing serious. You can go and clean yourself up." Natasha thanks her.

"Can I help?" Bucky asks. Natasha looks up and sees him by the door with a worried smile.

"Walk me to my room again?" Natasha asks with a tease. She might be in a teasing mood, Bucky knows she's keeping up appearances. He nevertheless smiles and scoops her into his arms.

"She can walk, Sergeant Barnes," the doctor tells Bucky.

"I know and I don't care, doc," Bucky yells with a chuckle as they exit the med bay.

Bucky takes his time walking, carrying Natasha to her room. Natasha doesn't mind either. She has her arms wrapped around Bucky's shoulder and she nestles her forehead on his neck. Bucky can feel her breath on his skin and it warms him up pretty nicely. They don't speak throughout their walk and Bucky's not bothered by it all. He feels it, that when it comes to the two of them, words aren't necessary for them to understand each other. They finally reach her door and Bucky gently puts her down. All he is planning to do once they reach her door is to give her a hug and walk away. But Natasha surprises him.

"Can you help me clean up my wound?" Natasha asks him softly.

Bucky responds with a smile. Natasha leads him to her bathroom and shows him the first aid kit. The nurses somehow cleaned the wound before stitching it up but her hair, forehead and temple is stained with dried blood. He wets a towel and gently wipes away the blood. Again, he doesn't say anything, knowing that Natasha's head is already filled with a thousand questions and thoughts.

He tilts her face up that they're face to face but her eyes are distant, she's a million miles away. Then right there, Natasha finally unravels as she cries her heart out. Bucky pulls her in an embrace, her face on his chest and his chin on her head. He feels Natasha wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him closer too.

He lets her cry, without trying to calm her down, without saying anything to soothe her because Bucky knows that she needs that cry, a long overdue admission and confession of her pain. And he's right. After several minutes, Natasha takes a deep breath and stops sobbing. Just like that. Bucky takes her cue and they release each other from their embrace. Natasha sniffles a few times before looking up at him with a soft smile.

"Is the blood gone now?" Natasha asks as if nothing happened. Bucky nods and throws the towel down in the sink. "Thank you," she whispers.

Bucky still doesn't say anything. He just smiles and nods at her because if he is being honest with himself he doesn't know what to say, really. He has a lot of questions, that is for sure, but questions from him are the last things Natasha needs right now. Bucky reaches for a stray hair on her face and gently tucks it behind her ear, then starts walking out of the bathroom.

"I know, I still owe you that breakfast," Natasha says.

Bucky stops, turns around and walks back to her. He stoops down and plants a kiss on the top of her head.

"Yeah, you do," Bucky chuckles and gives Natasha a smile before leaving.

It took Natasha almost an hour to totally clean herself up. Getting herself in and out of the tub alone was already tasking and then she had to scrub every inch of her body and shampooed twice because she could still smell that giant man on her. Her head wound didn't make things easier too. But she did clean up and now she lays on her bed in her bathrobe and immediately surrenders once sleep came to claim her.

She doesn't know how long or short she slept. But she notices the sky is gray with beautiful streaks of orange, peach and pink and surmises it's already sunset . She grabs her vibrating phone and hears Maria from the other end, "Meeting in 20. Fury on the way."

Natasha begrudgingly gets out of bed. She clumsily runs her fingers on her head, hitting her wound, making her hiss aloud in pain. She stands up and leaves her room without bothering to grab a change of clothes.

When she arrived in the common area, everyone, except Fury and Maria are already there. They all give her warm smiles as she walks in.

"I like your sweater," Steve comments with a smirk. "So you snuck in grandpa's closet again."

"Yeah, it's a nice closet, lots of option," Natasha teases back as she sits herself beside Wanda.

Natasha's wearing another one of Steve's sweater. After she left her room in her bathrobe, she snuck into his room and pulled a knitted navy blue one sweater from his closet.

"No skeletons?" Steve doesn't surrender. Everyone holds their breath at Steve's remark, afraid that it might hurt Natasha's feelings. They're all relieved when Natasha smiles.

"Why do you think I like your closet more than mine?" Natasha quips back.

Steve smiles wider, grateful and relieve that Natasha's okay. Natasha's known to mask her true feelings with sass and sarcasm, so seeing her in her element somehow comforts Steve that she's in control of herself again. He can only imagine the raging storm of emotions she's containing inside so to see her teasing him at least signals him that she hasn't spiraled down in despair..

Steve doesn't know it but Bucky feels the same relief. Bucky knows that Natasha will never be totally free, emotionally speaking, not with all the guilt, the regrets, the loses, and disappointments she's been through. So to see her brave through everything, face everything and everyone gracefully, Bucky can't help but be relieved that Natasha's will to live remains strong. Finally, Fury and Maria enter the room. "Nice to see my favorite agent is still in one piece," Fury says with a little laugh.

Maria and Clint both raise their eyebrows and look at Fury. Fury notices their questioning eyes. Fury points at Clint, "You chose retirement and your farm over me."

"You mean my wife and kids?" Clint quips back. Fury then turns to Maria. "And you, you're too bossy. You like to boss me around!"

"I'm bossy?" Maria protests. "She's disobeyed your order! Not to mention she rolls her eyes on you a LOT!"

"Really?" Fury acts innocent. "Well, she's wise to do it at my left, because I don't see it." Fury laughs.

"Whatever," Maria remarks at Fury but gives Natasha a knowing smile.

It's nice to see Fury in a relaxed mood but it still creeps Bucky and Sam. They just give each other puzzled looks and feel uncomfortable when Fury laughed. Bucky's come to appreciate Fury despite Steve's story of the spy's habit of 'compartmentalizing' things. For a second, Bucky imagines what it would be like to have Fury as a handler. He looks at Natasha and decides that he's totally different and definitely way better than Pierce ever was.

"Alright, down to business," Maria starts to report.

"See? Bossy," Fury jokes and settles a few feet away from Bucky. Maria gives him a steely look then proceeds.

"The mansion had nothing to tie the Company with Anya's activities. But they're most certainly implicated based on the surveillance photos Natasha's taken these past months, proving that they know Anya. Also, the mansion in Iceland was registered to Malone, one of the Company's high-ranking bosses. So they're out in the open now and the Feds are going to be all up their asses, waiting for them to make a mistake. One slip like unpaid business permits and the Feds are gonna knock down their doors."

"So they're not our problem now?" Sam asks. Fury and Maria nod. Sam makes a victory fist.

"How are the girls?" Natasha asks.

"The bodies are still with the coroner, finishing autopsy. After that they'll be immediately sent to their families," Maria says with a hint of sadness.

"The rest of them?" Wanda asks.

"Our doctors cleared them, including the physicist and hacker," Maria replies. "They're not exactly healthy but nothing major to be worried about. The Feds transferred them this morning to another facility where they'll still be processed -"

"Process? Send them home already!" Wanda exclaims.

"It's SOP, Wanda," Sam tries comforting her.

"Yes, they just need to give the authorities their statements. Which reminds me, you need to give yours too," Maria says to Natasha. Natasha casually shrugs.

"Then they go home, right?" Wanda continues her protest.

"Yes," Maria continues. "Their families have already been informed, some of them are already in transit to the facility and they'd all be home eventually."

"They won't be the same though," Natasha remarks. "Their families must be briefed, Hill, thoroughly. Explain it to them, tell them exactly what their daughters did or what's been done to them. Knowing those details will help them understand and cope up because the girls they're going to bring home aren't the same girls they used to tuck in bed at night."

Maria nods in agreement. "Don't worry, they went through initial psych evaluation and the docs will forward the Feds their long term psychiatric recommendation."

"It'll be a long haul but they have their freedom back, so that's something," Steve adds, trying to ease Natasha's worry. "Whatever they decide to do with the rest of their lives, it will be up to them."

Natasha simply nods but deep in her heart she knows this isn't entirely true. Yes, they are free to make choices of their own but Natasha knows that memories of their ordeal will always linger somewhere in their subconscious and will always affect the way they're going to think, feel, process and decide in the future. They're changed by it to some degree. They might not know it yet, but there will come a time that they'll realize it and they have to accept it. To be free from this dark past they're gonna have to push these memories deep and far away, which based on personal experience, is easier said than actually done.

"Where's her body?" Natasha finally asks. Everyone knows who she's referring to.

"In cold storage. We want to ask you what we should do with her?"Maria says.

"Bury her with her mother."

"And where's that exactly?"

Natasha gets Maria's tablet and punches in a couple of coordinates. They all look up as the monitor on the wall come to life and show a satellite map. Natasha's coordinates show a pile of ruins in the middle of a thick forest. Clint makes a soft yet audible gasp. He looks at Natasha who gives him a nod.

"What's there?" Wanda asks.

"The one thing she's trying rebuild all this time. Home," Natasha finishes.

Maria gives her an understanding nod and everyone's silent for a while. They can't believe that it's over, it's finally done.

Bucky can only imagine what Natasha's thinking and feeling right now because she took the Big Boss Company case as her means of moving on after the snap but that chase has brought her back full circle to her past. And him asking her for those lost memories was more old wounds opening again. Bucky somehow feels guilty. He looks at Natasha and he suddenly is unsure whether or not he's going to push through with their breakfast talk. But he's sure of one thing, he's happy to have been there for her these past months.

He harks back on the day they received Maria's call and at all the things that had happened then and now -Clint coming out of retirement again, Sam dropping his life in DC, Steve stepping back in the game - all for Natasha's sake. He cannot say the same for himself. He came because Steve came but oh, boy, he's glad that he did.

"That's it, then?" Sam asks, breaking the silence.

"That's it." Natasha remarks with finality in her tone. Although she sounded confident, Bucky knows her heart feels different. With the likes of them, nothing's ever finished because their past would always catch up on them no matter.

"Alright then!" Sam exclaims. "Who's up for some Hot Pot?"

Wanda raises her hand with enthusiasm.

"I'm in," Clint nods.

"Hill? Fury?" Sam asks the two.

"Unfortunately, Wilson, Hill and I needed somewhere else. You kids enjoy. You deserve it," Fury says and gives Steve and Natasha a quick nod before exiting the room.

"I'll call you for that statement, Nat," Maria nods at Natasha before following Fury.

"Cap?" Sam continues.

"Absolutely!"

"Good... good... you're coming too, Barnes," Sam says and Bucky smiles back.

"Nat?" Steve turns to Natasha.

"Of course, Rogers! If there's anyone here who deserves a night out that would be me", Natasha jokes.

"Alright!" Sam and Wanda exclaim together.

_Bucky lies awake on his bed, his eyes locked on the full moon directly above him. It's glowing particularly bright that he can't see the stars around it. He basks underneath its faint light. He holds up his metal arm, dreamily catching its light within his grasp. But Bucky becomes confused as he notices he's wearing gloves on both hands. _

_He sits up and panics to see him in his Winter Soldier uniform and that his bed is now full of dried autumn leaves - brown, yellow, and red. Lots of red. He scoops a handful, crushes them in his fist but Bucky gasps as blood ooze from it. He panics even more as the rest of the red leaves on the bed start to melt into dark crimson blood. He tries to move but he's frozen, he tries to scream but no sound comes out. _

_He suddenly lays back on the bed, as if something violently pulled him back. He continues trying to scream his lungs out but still no sound comes out. He takes in one big desperate breath as the blood on the bed rise up and swallow him._

Bucky jolts up from his bed, beads of sweat all over his face. He's breathing deep and heavy and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He clutches his chest to calm himself and finds that his shirt is soaked in sweat too. He still gets nightmare once in a while but most of them are flashbacks and repeats of his part. It's been a while since he had something like this.

_I must be too worried about that talk_, he tries to justify it.

He works on his breathing. He closes his eyes and takes a series of deep breaths in a more paced rhythm. After a minute or two, his heart finally slows down and he's breathing normally again. He leans back on his pillow to further relax but then the knob on his bedroom door suddenly turns. Bucky doesn't jump out of bed but grabs a gun he keeps under his pillow and points it at the door. The door swings open and reveals Natasha on the other side.

Natasha instinctively raises her hands upon seeing Bucky's gun.

"Don't shoot, soldier," Natasha says but with no trace of fear or panic in her voice.

Bucky lets out a sigh of relief and puts his gun down by the side table.

"Good morning to you too," Natasha continues but doesn't enter the room yet.

"Sorry. Bad dream," Bucky says and starts to get out of bed.

"No. Don't," Natasha gestures him to not move.

Bucky looks at her with confusion.

"If you get out of that bed then it's all going to be ruined."

"What is?"

Natasha disappears from the doorway for a few seconds and when she reappears she's already holding a bed tray.

"Our breakfast," Natasha says with a smile and finally steps into the room.

She uses her foot to close the door behind her. Bucky can't find the right words to say as he watches Natasha, in a shirt and sweatpants, walk to him with the tray and smile on her face. She sets it in front of Bucky first then walks to the windows to draw open the curtains, revealing an early sunrise. The sun's barely out of the horizon.

"What time is it?" Bucky asks.

"Early," Natasha says as she settles down on the bed, sitting directly across Bucky, the tray of breakfast food between them. Bucky stares at Natasha with awe and smile as she fixes their coffee. Natasha knows he's staring and just lets him.

"Natalia, I... I know we agreed to have this talk but if you're not -"

"I'm okay, James. We're doing it and to be honest, it's been eating me up since that day in Odessa," Natasha says with a calm voice. "Besides, I made your favorite."

Before Bucky can ask her what she meant by it, she opens the plate cover and reveals layers of pancakes. Bucky's eyes widen in happiness, like a kid opening his birthday present.

"Woah! Pancakes!"

"I know right?!" Natasha says proudly.

She lets out a bittersweet smile as she watches Bucky takes in a mouthful of the pancakes. Her eyes start to water too. Bucky sees it and he's about to object again to their pending talk but Natasha stops him.

"So, James. Where do you want me to begin? " Natasha starts with her trademark sly grin on her face.

**THE END.**

_*Author's Note: Actually, I initially thought of continuing this, using flashbacks as Natasha tells their shared history. But I think it's nicer to have open endings. But I do have a sequel for this. :) __Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! :) _


End file.
